Television Is a Farce

So as you know, I was at a taping of a television show last, last Saturday morning.

If you haven't seen the show, here is the synopsis:

It's based on first impressions....

Someone is being interviewed to talk about how crappy their life is and how shitty they look.
At the end of the interview they realize that there is a jury of 9 people sitting behind a two-way mirror that have been judging them the whole time they have been in the interview. THEY GET TO WATCH the jury's first impressions which are NOT VERY NICE, on purpose. The person is told that they are going to get a makeover.

They get the makeover. Teeth, skin, hair, makeup, fitness, clothes, counselling, etc. Eight weeks later, they come back for an interview.

9 different jury members have been judging them, and they hear all of the comments to make them feel wonderful.

Ok, so I was HOPING that it would be the after-jury. I wasn't so lucky.

Here we had to sit, making fun of these FRAGILE, RUN DOWN, women, while they cried behind the glass. I couldn't do it. What I did say wasn't mean, but some of the other jury members were BRUTAL. These women had gross, greasy hair, shoddy clothes, facial hair, etc. I'm pretty sure that they were told to grow their facial hair, because I can't see someone going for an interview without taking care of it beforehand. It wasn't long - it was stubble at that point. Dead giveaway.

Television is soooooooooo staged. We all had to smile on cue, nod on cue, laugh on cue, and at one point, the producer asked me to repeat the sentence:

" She needs to find her inner bombshell."

You all realize I would never say anything like that...but I'm assuming they needed SOMETHING from me so they instructed me to say it.

At one point, we all got the giggles...the guy beside me was my friend's brother...he has some weird condition that when there are bright lights, his eyes burn and start to tear. Its painful for him. Here he was, looking away from the mirror, tears streaming down his face. We were all howling with laughter while the candidate pretended that she saw us behind the glass for the first time. Meanwhile, it was like the 5th time. Anyhow, when the lights came on, we couldn't compose ourselves. We were pissing our pants. When the lights went off and we could see the candidate again, she was crying. I hope she didn't think we were laughing at her. God, I hope that wasn't the case.

I wanted to hug both of these women. I can't wait to discover how the makeover transformed them, physically and emotionally. They could both use some TLC.

I mean, who the f&*% were we to judge these women? Half of us in the jury needed our OWN makeovers.

Now let's talk about the host. I thought he was kinda cute before the show. After the show, I thought he was the most egotistical, self-absorbed individual. It was actually funny. We were behind the mirror and through the taping of both shows, I would estimate that he was either adjusting or looking at himself in that mirror about 75 times. No word of a lie. He thought he was all that and a bag of chips. Sad, really.

By the end of the taping, I was soooo happy to get out of there.

It won't air until the spring. They say the camera adds 10 lbs so that will be nice to see. Not.

We couldn't wear black, white, red, stripes or designs, ribbed shirts, etc. Doesn't leave a lot for me to wear, since most of my closet is made up of those colours.

Anyhooo that was my 15 minutes I guess. Not sure that I would do it again.

If I learned one thing from this whole experience, it's that I won't believe anything I see on TV from now on. Everything is staged. Everything.

Style By Jury

Has anyone ever seen this show?

Well it just so happens that a friend of mine is a friend of the producer and he needed jury members......and yours truly will be in the jury this Saturday morning.

Meredith + style is an oxymoron, but whatever.

I'm hoping that I end up on the 'after jury' because cutting someone up....when I am no beauty queen... seems a little hypocritical.

I'll let you know what day the show will be on.

Autographs will be given to those that want one.

Is It Wrong?

Is it wrong....





to want to see....







Dirty Dancing The Musical?

Debbie Downer in Disneyland

Oh my goodness. How funny is this? It reminds me of the Carol Burnett Show when the whole cast would start howling.

Volleybrawl

I've learned something about myself in the past few years.

I don't really have a competitive bone in my body, until I step onto the court or playing field for any sport. Then my passion takes over, and I become a turbo bitch.

I recently played volleyball for my alumni high school reunion. The team that I organized, ended up being very good. Of 9 teams, we were the oldest, and we lost in the finals. We did pretty damn awesome for having 10 years on the rest of the players. I REALLLYYY enjoyed this tournament because the caliber was perfect.

When you are in elementary school, you learn the following:

bump set spike
bump set spike

Not a hard concept.

Unless, of course, you are a player on my current team. I joined an intermediate level league, and the caliber is horrendously bad. So much so, that I find myself being more frustrated than not. I can't have a good time, because half of the people can't even volley or bump a friggin' ball. It's called the RECREATIONAL group, people. RECREATIONAL.

Why is it that people can't assess their own skills to know what level they should play at? Everyone tends to assume they are better than they truly are. Frustrating. I'm all for self confidence, but seriously. You suck.

There is this idiot on my team that thinks he is Mr. Wonderful, yet all he continues to do, is blast the stupid ball over the net. It doesn't matter if it's on the first hit, or the second hit. Even when I bump to him off the serve to set the ball, he will just zing it over. This guy sucks the big bag.

If the team was making 3 hits before the ball went over, I wouldn't have a problem with losing. I DO, however, have a problem with losing when people don't move for the ball, or they hog the ball, or they lift, palm, or carry it. It's embarrassing, really. Unfortunately, when this is going on, I turn into silent, angry athlete.

I go home frustrated every week. When I suggest to the team to actually call our lifts or call the palmed balls, they look at me like I am on crack. I would rather call a lift, than to see it actually fall onto the other side of the court and grant us a point. That would be like someone stealing a car. Yes, it may be nice, but it wasn't earned. One girl that is on my team is very good, so I think I will recruit her for an advanced team next season. I am done with "intermediate" level of play. What a waste of $90, let me tell ya. A hard earned ninety dollars (see post below).

My outlet for stress and frustration is sports. When that isn't accommodated, and instead contributes to more of it....I want to pull my hair out. I want to punch walls.

Next season, competitive sports. I am done with the pansies. I am done with the dumb asses. Bring on the skill baby.

It's time to get serious.