It seems like yesterday was Friday, and here I am on Sunday at 11:45, dreading having to work tomorrow. I normally wouldn't dread going to work, but I made a huge mistake this season with my part-time job. I took Mondays, Tuesdays AND Wednesdays. Therefore, I work straight through from Monday morning until late Thursday night. No "me" time. No time to recharge my batteries. I feel a little run ragged.
When I do have an evening at home, I can't help but sleep on the couch for hours on end. My body is exhausted. I need to start incorporating exercise into my day to day life, to create more energy.
In two weeks, it will be the first anniversary of the death of a friend of mine from high school. I usually deal well with death, but in this case I am not dealing well with it at all. It doesn't make any sense to me. No sense at all. She was much too young, and had one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met to this day. There is no reason that someone should pass away from cancer at 34. I don't know why I didn't maintain close contact with her after high school either, considering I am usually a person that takes extra steps in keeping up with all of my friends. I didn't make it to her funeral last year, so I will be partaking in some family ceremonies this year. It will be good to see her family and some long lost friends from high school.
The saying "bad things happen to good people" couldn't be more accurate in this case.
I had a dream the other night that she was alive, and we bumped into each other somewhere. I remember hugging her and not wanting to let go, as though I knew what her fate would be. That totally fucked me up for a few days.
Sorry for such a downer posting.
On a good note, this past weekend was great. I went to my friend's Mom's 65th Birthday party in Alliston. I also met up with some friends that I made while working at Dell Computers in 1998. That was a blast. It was like no time had passed, although I hadn't seen them in 6 years.
To conclude, I am posting the link to one of my favourite websites. I stumbled across this site a few years back....and fell in love with these bunnies. It used to be just a few, with The Exorcist being my favourite. She has added so many more movies since then - Napoleon Dynamite being the most recent. LOVE THIS SITE!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
The Facebook Phenomenon
I am the first to admit that I love Facebook. It allows you to keep up on the lives of your friends' without putting much effort into the whole thing. You can capture a snapshot of their life through their profile. It's quite convenient.
However.
The odd time I get a "friend request" that makes me shake my head.
I don't "hate" many people. There have been a few people over the years that have crossed/denigrated me, and I subsequently have no respect for them. There are others that I steer clear from because they have no morals or values. A few of these people have attempted to add me as a friend. You would think, that when hitting the "add as a friend" button, they would be a little hesitant...and maybe add a little note saying that the past is the past...but nooooo, they just hit the button and expect me to add them back. Sorry, but that's not going to happen. It's as though Facebook grants them instant forgiveness.
Can a leopard change his spots?
The older I get, I realize that the answer is no. If they were an adult and deceived me in one way or another, I am not going to smile and allow them to do it again (something vicious or detrimental, not something innocent). As an adult we are conscious of our decisions and are responsible for our actions. If they are a kid, then they probably haven't learned any life lessons yet...so they deserve a second chance.
Now allow me to get to the reason that I blogged this entry in the first place.
As I said before, I don't hate many people. There is one person that I would consider punching in the throat if I stumbled across them in public. This person singlehandedly treated me like shit, not once, but twice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There WILL NOT be a thrice. I loathe her. When I tell people the story of what occurred between us, they are appalled. When I think back to how I handled the situation, I believe that I handled it to the best of my ability at the time. This said person, added me last night as a friend. I must have spent 10 minutes looking at the words on the screen. I was dumbfounded, but she is the type of person that probably assumes that she has forgiven ME and that she is extending the olive branch. Last I checked, my branch was olive-free.
Some people are stupid, plain and simple.
A few years ago, a woman that I worked with in social services, told me that I am a high-maintenance person. I assumed she meant physically, but she actually meant mentally. She said that I am high maintenance when it comes to people and friends. I responded by saying that I expect a certain type of behaviour with friends, and that I won't put up with any crap. She said that some people are incapable of meeting those expectations. I reciprocated that if that is the case, they are not trying. If they truly believe that about themselves (cop-out), then I really don't have the time to waste on them.
People on Facebook should be more selective. Don't just litter your friend list with numbers.
Be discriminatory.
If you don't stand for anything, you will fall for everything.
However.
The odd time I get a "friend request" that makes me shake my head.
I don't "hate" many people. There have been a few people over the years that have crossed/denigrated me, and I subsequently have no respect for them. There are others that I steer clear from because they have no morals or values. A few of these people have attempted to add me as a friend. You would think, that when hitting the "add as a friend" button, they would be a little hesitant...and maybe add a little note saying that the past is the past...but nooooo, they just hit the button and expect me to add them back. Sorry, but that's not going to happen. It's as though Facebook grants them instant forgiveness.
Can a leopard change his spots?
The older I get, I realize that the answer is no. If they were an adult and deceived me in one way or another, I am not going to smile and allow them to do it again (something vicious or detrimental, not something innocent). As an adult we are conscious of our decisions and are responsible for our actions. If they are a kid, then they probably haven't learned any life lessons yet...so they deserve a second chance.
Now allow me to get to the reason that I blogged this entry in the first place.
As I said before, I don't hate many people. There is one person that I would consider punching in the throat if I stumbled across them in public. This person singlehandedly treated me like shit, not once, but twice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. There WILL NOT be a thrice. I loathe her. When I tell people the story of what occurred between us, they are appalled. When I think back to how I handled the situation, I believe that I handled it to the best of my ability at the time. This said person, added me last night as a friend. I must have spent 10 minutes looking at the words on the screen. I was dumbfounded, but she is the type of person that probably assumes that she has forgiven ME and that she is extending the olive branch. Last I checked, my branch was olive-free.
Some people are stupid, plain and simple.
A few years ago, a woman that I worked with in social services, told me that I am a high-maintenance person. I assumed she meant physically, but she actually meant mentally. She said that I am high maintenance when it comes to people and friends. I responded by saying that I expect a certain type of behaviour with friends, and that I won't put up with any crap. She said that some people are incapable of meeting those expectations. I reciprocated that if that is the case, they are not trying. If they truly believe that about themselves (cop-out), then I really don't have the time to waste on them.
People on Facebook should be more selective. Don't just litter your friend list with numbers.
Be discriminatory.
If you don't stand for anything, you will fall for everything.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Joy of Unemployment
I was surfing the internet and stumbled across this.
It struck me as funny for some reason.
Enjoy.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
News Anchors Lose it on Air
Thanks Laurelle for sending this to me and making my night. I laughed my ass off, all by myself at home, on a Friday night. My neighbours must have wondered what the hell was going on.....
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Holy Crappola
I think this week has been the worst week I have had in a long time. I have had enough crap happen in the last two days, that it constitutes having a brutal week, even though there are 5 days left in it.
I won't go into details, but honestly, things need to start looking up.
I'm actually starting to consider finding a boyfriend, for the sole reason of having a dual income. Not really, but pretty fucking close.
I won't go into details, but honestly, things need to start looking up.
I'm actually starting to consider finding a boyfriend, for the sole reason of having a dual income. Not really, but pretty fucking close.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Kaziah Hancock
This woman has such a beautiful soul.
Very inspiring.
"Kindness is a virtue, and on a ranch in Utah, compassion is an art."
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Relationship Status
I heard through the grapevine last week that my friend in Calgary, Paul (or Uncle Paulie, as we like to call him), has a girlfriend.
Not only does he have a girlfriend, he has had this said girlfriend for at least 2 months.
When was I going to hear this from the horse's mouth I wonder? Let's sit and wonder together.
I have had hundreds of conversations with him about how to meet people, dating in today's world, etc. Even after a colossal amount of discussions....I have to hear about this through third parties.
Shame on you Uncle Paulie.
I am very happy for you, but shame on you.
I want you to comment below and explain to my readers why you have become so secretive. Details please.
Not only does he have a girlfriend, he has had this said girlfriend for at least 2 months.
When was I going to hear this from the horse's mouth I wonder? Let's sit and wonder together.
I have had hundreds of conversations with him about how to meet people, dating in today's world, etc. Even after a colossal amount of discussions....I have to hear about this through third parties.
Shame on you Uncle Paulie.
I am very happy for you, but shame on you.
I want you to comment below and explain to my readers why you have become so secretive. Details please.
It's In You To Give
So, today I gave blood for the first time ever.
I'm 35.
One of the reasons I have never done so before... although I am embarrassed to admit this....is because I am a big baby when it comes to blood. I am getting better as I get older, but when I see blood pumping through a tube, or the bag attached to that teeter-totter thing....I'm toast. I have no idea where this issue comes from either. My whole family isn't like me. When an operation is shown on T.V, I have to look away. When I watch a movie that is graphic, I look away. Silly, I know.
Bob Beneteau, my friend's father, was asked what he wanted for his birthday this past Monday. His answer was that he wanted everyone that is close to him to donate blood. I spent most of my teenager years and my twenties at his house, so this pertained to me. He has received several bags of blood over the last couple of years, as he has had complications with the rare form of cancer that he has been fighting. He wants to give back. How could I say no to something like that? There were 4 of us donating today, with another 5-6 people donating at different locations in his honour. He was there supporting us today - and became emotional when he started to tell a stranger the story as to why we were all donating together. He was quick to say that this birthday present is one of the best ones that he has received to date.
It turns out that I was a little dehydrated and needed to replenish my fluids before they allowed me to donate. I sat at the goody table and drank some water. I met a woman that was excited to have received her donation pin to signify her 75th donation. 75! I was dumbfounded. She donates every 56 days, religiously. She told me that her father and her used to donate together a few times a year until he died. She has continued the tradition in his absence. She was genuinely excited for me to donate this first time.
As I was on the donation bed, I made conversation with the nurse to take my mind off things. She told a story of a man that comes in every 2 months to donate at that same location. She mentioned that he is so uncomfortable with the process that he is in a "zone" and stares ahead......you can't make conversation with him because he just wants the whole thing to end.
This same man has donated over 300 times.
My sister has had one or two blood transfusions with complications with her first birth...my father was in and out of hospitals for 15 yrs and must have been given several bags of blood as well. It's such a simple thing to give. I would have lost my Dad decades earlier than I did, and I would have lost Laurelle 3 years ago if people weren't as generous with their donations.
I'm disappointed in myself for not having done this earlier, but it's better late than never.....
Is it in YOU to give?
Trust me, if I can do it, so can you.
Here is the link if you want to help.
I'm 35.
One of the reasons I have never done so before... although I am embarrassed to admit this....is because I am a big baby when it comes to blood. I am getting better as I get older, but when I see blood pumping through a tube, or the bag attached to that teeter-totter thing....I'm toast. I have no idea where this issue comes from either. My whole family isn't like me. When an operation is shown on T.V, I have to look away. When I watch a movie that is graphic, I look away. Silly, I know.
Bob Beneteau, my friend's father, was asked what he wanted for his birthday this past Monday. His answer was that he wanted everyone that is close to him to donate blood. I spent most of my teenager years and my twenties at his house, so this pertained to me. He has received several bags of blood over the last couple of years, as he has had complications with the rare form of cancer that he has been fighting. He wants to give back. How could I say no to something like that? There were 4 of us donating today, with another 5-6 people donating at different locations in his honour. He was there supporting us today - and became emotional when he started to tell a stranger the story as to why we were all donating together. He was quick to say that this birthday present is one of the best ones that he has received to date.
It turns out that I was a little dehydrated and needed to replenish my fluids before they allowed me to donate. I sat at the goody table and drank some water. I met a woman that was excited to have received her donation pin to signify her 75th donation. 75! I was dumbfounded. She donates every 56 days, religiously. She told me that her father and her used to donate together a few times a year until he died. She has continued the tradition in his absence. She was genuinely excited for me to donate this first time.
As I was on the donation bed, I made conversation with the nurse to take my mind off things. She told a story of a man that comes in every 2 months to donate at that same location. She mentioned that he is so uncomfortable with the process that he is in a "zone" and stares ahead......you can't make conversation with him because he just wants the whole thing to end.
This same man has donated over 300 times.
My sister has had one or two blood transfusions with complications with her first birth...my father was in and out of hospitals for 15 yrs and must have been given several bags of blood as well. It's such a simple thing to give. I would have lost my Dad decades earlier than I did, and I would have lost Laurelle 3 years ago if people weren't as generous with their donations.
I'm disappointed in myself for not having done this earlier, but it's better late than never.....
Is it in YOU to give?
Trust me, if I can do it, so can you.
Here is the link if you want to help.
Monday, July 09, 2007
My Condo
The condo association just launched a website that showcases all of the amenities in the building where I live.
I thought I would post the link so you can all see where I rest my head at night. It's an awesome building. I never want to leave.
www.concordepark.ca
I thought I would post the link so you can all see where I rest my head at night. It's an awesome building. I never want to leave.
www.concordepark.ca
We're in the Thick of Summer
Today, it has officially become summer to me.
This morning, standing in the heat of 32°C, I heard my first cicada. Nothing spells an Ontario summer like cicadas do. It brings me back to my childhood: lying in bed at 8pm, listening to other kids outside playing, with the cicadas singing in the background. Cicadas represent heat. They only arrive when the summer gets really, really hot. Up until recently I thought they were called "heat bugs".
I love the sound. It almost sounds like you are standing underneath live power lines.
Apparently there are a lot of different types of cicadas. After listening to about 20 sound bytes, this is the one that is closest resembles what they sound like (in Ontario at least).
Cicada is translated into German to mean "singing insect."
Not to be confused with (John) Secada, who was a singer in the late 80's.
This morning, standing in the heat of 32°C, I heard my first cicada. Nothing spells an Ontario summer like cicadas do. It brings me back to my childhood: lying in bed at 8pm, listening to other kids outside playing, with the cicadas singing in the background. Cicadas represent heat. They only arrive when the summer gets really, really hot. Up until recently I thought they were called "heat bugs".
I love the sound. It almost sounds like you are standing underneath live power lines.
Apparently there are a lot of different types of cicadas. After listening to about 20 sound bytes, this is the one that is closest resembles what they sound like (in Ontario at least).
Cicada is translated into German to mean "singing insect."
Not to be confused with (John) Secada, who was a singer in the late 80's.
Pregnant and Parenting Teens
As most of you know, I was the live-in mentor for a group home of pregnant and parenting teens from 2002-2005. I started the journey with hope and belief that these kids could succeed. I left with the jaded view that unless the teen has a good family backing them, they will fail. Funding for these programs were cut every year, and I found myself spinning my wheels. More and more kids were losing their kids to the government. I left that field of work feeling like a failure, although it wasn't necessarily a reflection of my abilities.
I was returning home after I had drinks with an ex on Friday. The bus that I grabbed travels through a low-income area. There was a teenage boy and girl on that bus, with a 20 month old. They were no more than 17 yrs old. There was a friend of theirs with them, who was annoying and immature...but the parents were astute, responsible and refrained from swearing during the whole trip. The father shocked me the most. He had a shaved head, a sleeveless shirt and long shorts. Had I seen him on the streets, I would have judged him to be a punk-ass teenager. He was very aware of his daughter - he would hold her back when the bus turned corners, would make sure she was happy, and was just a good, present father overall. At one point the girl bumped her head, and he grabbed her, got up and started to bounce her while talking quietly in such a loving, calm voice. I fell in love with this guy. I saw so many punk-ass fathers come by the house that I worked at - who would feign interest, until the girlfriend would jump into bed with them again. This kid seemed to have his priorities in check. They were arriving home on a Friday night before 9:30. His friend mentioned that they should feed her some Gatorade and the father was quick to tell him that he wouldn't feed his daughter drinks that are made of pure sugar - they would rot her teeth. He also made a phone call during the trip and spoke to his brother and warned him that he better not have his girlfriend over there as the father had house rules that he should abide by. He ended the phone call by saying "I just don't want you guys fighting again."
It was a refreshing ride home. They were mature teenagers, that seemed to make the proper decisions. I hope they succeed with raising their daughter. I know there are teenagers out there that can succeed. It's just a shame that I personally didn't witness any in my time as a mentor.
I was returning home after I had drinks with an ex on Friday. The bus that I grabbed travels through a low-income area. There was a teenage boy and girl on that bus, with a 20 month old. They were no more than 17 yrs old. There was a friend of theirs with them, who was annoying and immature...but the parents were astute, responsible and refrained from swearing during the whole trip. The father shocked me the most. He had a shaved head, a sleeveless shirt and long shorts. Had I seen him on the streets, I would have judged him to be a punk-ass teenager. He was very aware of his daughter - he would hold her back when the bus turned corners, would make sure she was happy, and was just a good, present father overall. At one point the girl bumped her head, and he grabbed her, got up and started to bounce her while talking quietly in such a loving, calm voice. I fell in love with this guy. I saw so many punk-ass fathers come by the house that I worked at - who would feign interest, until the girlfriend would jump into bed with them again. This kid seemed to have his priorities in check. They were arriving home on a Friday night before 9:30. His friend mentioned that they should feed her some Gatorade and the father was quick to tell him that he wouldn't feed his daughter drinks that are made of pure sugar - they would rot her teeth. He also made a phone call during the trip and spoke to his brother and warned him that he better not have his girlfriend over there as the father had house rules that he should abide by. He ended the phone call by saying "I just don't want you guys fighting again."
It was a refreshing ride home. They were mature teenagers, that seemed to make the proper decisions. I hope they succeed with raising their daughter. I know there are teenagers out there that can succeed. It's just a shame that I personally didn't witness any in my time as a mentor.
Eating ShMEATing
An update on my quest of eating better:
I have successfully limited myself to eating red meat and chicken wings once a month. I don't crave either of them very often, so I guess that is a good sign. I carried over my May's red meat to June's, since I didn't crave it in May. I was at my company's AGM, which I organized and ran - and found myself sitting at the luncheon eating lasagna (which I chose from the catering menu). It wasn't until a coworker came over to me and asked if there were vegetarian selections...that I looked at my meal and thought SHIT! I'm eating meat! There went my May's selection down the tubes. What a waste.
I'm still working on making better choices. Even though I am not eating fast food or going to restaurants a quarter as much as before, my snacking is getting in the way. I need to make better choices, and need to figure out when I am hungry vs. when I am bored.
I'm lighter than I have been in a year, but I am far from my goal. I still walk down 20 flights of stairs every day, and do more walking since I take transit everywhere. I feel great, but I could feel better. Standby for my next update.
Oh, kudos to my sister, Laurelle, who has taken off 20 lbs recently. She started walking everyday with her kids in a running stroller. It's come off easily. She looks great. Keep it up, Ral.
I have successfully limited myself to eating red meat and chicken wings once a month. I don't crave either of them very often, so I guess that is a good sign. I carried over my May's red meat to June's, since I didn't crave it in May. I was at my company's AGM, which I organized and ran - and found myself sitting at the luncheon eating lasagna (which I chose from the catering menu). It wasn't until a coworker came over to me and asked if there were vegetarian selections...that I looked at my meal and thought SHIT! I'm eating meat! There went my May's selection down the tubes. What a waste.
I'm still working on making better choices. Even though I am not eating fast food or going to restaurants a quarter as much as before, my snacking is getting in the way. I need to make better choices, and need to figure out when I am hungry vs. when I am bored.
I'm lighter than I have been in a year, but I am far from my goal. I still walk down 20 flights of stairs every day, and do more walking since I take transit everywhere. I feel great, but I could feel better. Standby for my next update.
Oh, kudos to my sister, Laurelle, who has taken off 20 lbs recently. She started walking everyday with her kids in a running stroller. It's come off easily. She looks great. Keep it up, Ral.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Debra Live @ Spirits'
I LOVE THIS WOMAN.
I first saw her on Comedy Central a year and a half ago when I was down in the dumps. She strikes a chord in me - her execution, her material, everything - just makes me laugh. I don't find many stand-up comedians funny either.
I hope she wins "Last Comic Standing." She's incredible!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The Toronto Zoo
If you recall, in one of my older posts, I mentioned the things that I wanted to do over the next two years in Ontario. The Toronto Zoo was one of them.
I went to the Zoo two days ago. I was a little hesitant since the last Zoo I visited was the Calgary Zoo, which pissed me off to no end. A good quarter of the land that it sits on is reserved for this ridiculous prehistoric park, which contains imitation statues of dinosaurs. The other 75% of the park jam-packs the animals into these small pens. It immediately elevates my blood pressure when I see stuff like that. The giraffe and elephant pens were so tiny, they couldn't move around properly. I refused to go back after my first visit. I was afraid that my memory of the Toronto Zoo wasn't accurate - because I didn't recall the animals not having space to roam.
I was pleasantly surprised. Each animal had the appropriate space to play and walk (with the exception of the otter....just because they are small, they should still have some room?) The terrain and placement of the zoo is more acceptable as well. It seems that although you are in Scarborough, you are far away from the noises and hustle of the big city. The admission was $20, but I wasn't totally upset handing that over since I know it goes to the upkeep of the grounds/animal care. I can stomach that.
By the end of the day my feet were KILLING me. The zoo paths are a total of 10 kms - you walk that distance if you want to see all of the animals. . ..that was a good sign to me. It is spread out because the animals have their own space.
Rating? 8/10
(1 point was lost due to me losing $3.50 in the pop machine - mother of pearl!)
I went to the Zoo two days ago. I was a little hesitant since the last Zoo I visited was the Calgary Zoo, which pissed me off to no end. A good quarter of the land that it sits on is reserved for this ridiculous prehistoric park, which contains imitation statues of dinosaurs. The other 75% of the park jam-packs the animals into these small pens. It immediately elevates my blood pressure when I see stuff like that. The giraffe and elephant pens were so tiny, they couldn't move around properly. I refused to go back after my first visit. I was afraid that my memory of the Toronto Zoo wasn't accurate - because I didn't recall the animals not having space to roam.
I was pleasantly surprised. Each animal had the appropriate space to play and walk (with the exception of the otter....just because they are small, they should still have some room?) The terrain and placement of the zoo is more acceptable as well. It seems that although you are in Scarborough, you are far away from the noises and hustle of the big city. The admission was $20, but I wasn't totally upset handing that over since I know it goes to the upkeep of the grounds/animal care. I can stomach that.
By the end of the day my feet were KILLING me. The zoo paths are a total of 10 kms - you walk that distance if you want to see all of the animals. . ..that was a good sign to me. It is spread out because the animals have their own space.
Rating? 8/10
(1 point was lost due to me losing $3.50 in the pop machine - mother of pearl!)
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