Meh

I was away last week at the cottage for three days and was camping for 3 days as well. The break did me a ton of good. I will blog about those experiences tomorrow. Once I returned to work, it wasn't a nice transition.

Between both of my jobs, I have been catching shit from everyone this week. People are generally pissed off for some reason. Maybe because the summer is almost over? I noticed that last night was a full moon which could be the culprit - but people have been verbally abusing me for doing my job(s). Nothing that I can't take, as I am a master shit-taker, but hopefully it ceases soon.

So it turns out that this whole volleyball officiating plan of mine, has been abolished by the Ontario Volleyball Association. They want to hold this clinic in MARCH. Makes sense right? Considering the high school and college/university seasons are DONE BY THEN. This sucks because they were going to fund this for me, and I would have been able to start in October. I could have told my current part-time employer to piss off. They have been cancelling shifts on me a lot lately, with no explanation, and it's really affecting my bank book.

Oh, and I got a notice in the mail stating that the government is auditing me this month to make sure that my moving expenses are legit. "Random audit" MY ASS. They audit me every second effen year. It's totally legit on my end, but it's a big pain in the ass to get together to send to them. Letters from my employer, receipts, forms to fill out, you name it.

Thank goodness the long weekend is coming up. Time to cuddle up in front of the television and do S.F.A. Just me, my 20 inch television, some movies, and a bag of Sweet Chili Heat Doritos.

Bring it on.

Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007

Ok, I know most of you have already seen this but, man..it's good for a laugh.

"everywhere like..such as..."

LOL

One of the girls in our office is new and was feeling really behind and stupid today - I told her to watch this video and now she feels a WHOLE LOT BETTER.

Love it.

AHA!

Here I am, 9 months after moving back to Toronto.........

I assumed my remotes for my TV, DVD player, and VCR were lost in the move....therefore couldn't set the times, etc on these machines. I programmed the digital remote to control these devices, but they do the bare minimum.

I was rifling through my camping equipment today and voila! Somehow they ended up in these bags? (most likely when I was doing some desperate last minute packing a.k.a just throwing stuff into anything).

I can now set the times, and dates, and alarms on my T.V.

The simple things......

Say What You Do, Do What You Say

It's simple.

Commit to something and, well, do it.

If you're invited to a party, and it's a Friday night after a long week at work....and you are tired.. buck up, have a shower and get your ass in your car and get to that party. Chances are, that person accounted for your presence and bought groceries, drinks, etc for you.

If you confirm you will attend a concert, someone buys you a ticket....and you back out...open your fucking wallet and give that person what they paid for the ticket, regardless of whether you go or not. It should not be their problem to now find a replacement for you, the flaky friend.

If you give someone your 1000% "word" (which means shit nowadays), and you back out last minute, not only do you suck, but you are risking losing respect from that friend.

Recently I have experienced more cancellations from friends than "kept" commitments. It's rude, it's insulting, and it's a waste of my time. People seem to think that my time is less precious than theirs for some odd, ignorant reason.

If you know me at all, you know that I like straight forward people. Call it like you see it. If I ask you if you want to go to a concert and you don't feel like it, or hate the band - whatever...TELL ME IT SUCKS and you would rather stick pins in your eyes. I can at least move on, and know where you stand on the subject. I won't waste any further time on you.

Giving one's "word" is meaning less and less to me. I find this incredibly sad and unfortunate. This stuff didn't happen half as much back when our parents were younger. People accepted dinner invites months in advance and showed up when they were told. They didn't wait for better offers to surface in those 30 days. They didn't keep their options open. They declined invitations in between and kept their "word".

Nowadays, people feign interest, when they have no intentions on following through - then weakly hide behind their text messaging, cell phones, and emails, and cancel on stuff last minute. Most likely to go to a better offer that surfaced earlier in the day.

I am losing respect for people's value systems. They are disintegrating at a phenomenal rate.

I am officially taking a break from any sort of organizing for a while. The saddest part? No one will even notice, nor care.



* disclaimer - this does not include emergencies or unexpected kid issues, etc. I understand
circumstances beyond our control.

WHO ARE YOU????

I would like to know who is reading this blog....I have given this address out to a few people, but I am not sure who actually reads it.

For this reason, I would like you to sign the comment section below.

Let me know who you are, and how often you read my stuff. And anything relevant/irrelevant if you want.

Like, for example, what you just ate for lunch, or what foods give you gas, or how old you were when you first tried a cigarette. Anything you want.

Things Are Starting To Look Up

Finally, I have a few bits of good news.

The summer seems to have flown by, which makes me sad. Not so much for the hot weather, but for the long days that I love. I love waking up when it’s light out and I like that it doesn’t get dark until 9 or so. The lack of light in the winter gets me down.

Yesterday at work, I was watching 4 games on a giant field at St. Mike’s stadium downtown. As I sat there, I could hear rustling and I realized it was the fallen leaves on the ground flying around. I was in disbelief that leaves have already begun to fall.

The summer is on its way out and I haven’t even begun to enjoy it. I’ve been on my bike a mere 4 times. I haven’t camped yet. I haven’t gone on any road trips. I have been working and that is all. Working. Working. Working.

So yes, back to the good news:

1.

I found out, that the Ontario Volleyball Association, in the same building as I work in, received a grant from the government. They have chosen to apply it to their officiating clinics for women. This means that the officiating clinic/course I have been waiting to take will be....free! I also can get my Level 1 Coaching certificate, and manual for free. This alone saves me about $300. I was so pleasantly surprised because I never really had the cash to pay for the course in the first place. Reffing will help me financially, and it is something I have always wanted to do.

2.

I received a gift certificate in the mail from Addition Elle for $25. I could have kissed someone, since there is an overpriced sweater/blouse combo that I have had my eye on. Apparently I have spent over $500 there, of which $300 were gift certificates that my family gave me over the last year or so. The rest was probably stuff my friend Andrea bought there - she scans my card all the time when she makes a purchase.

3.

When I was in Cotton Ginny the other day, I tried on a pair of gauchos. I tried my normal size on and they were way too big. I tried the next size down and they were a little spacious as well. The sales girl told me to try one smaller. I told her there was no way it would fit since it’s been 8 yrs since I have fit into that size. They fucking fit me. I almost cried with joy. They were probably made bigger than usual, but hell, I’ll take it. I’ve noticed that I don’t look any smaller to the naked eye, but my body is redistributing. My cup size is too big now, and my legs don’t feel so enormous.

Hopefully this good luck keeps up, because it would be comforting to know that someone/something out there is looking out for me, and that my rough transition is starting to smooth out. For a while there, I was wondering if I had made a mistake by moving back to Toronto.

Fake Boobage, As Promised

Big Boob Nicknames:

Assets, Boobs, Hooters, Jugs, Knockers, Rack, Tits, Ba-Bearns
(got the last one from Laurelle)

Small Boob Nicknames:

Ant Bites, Fried Eggs, Ironing Board, Mole Hills, Mosquito Bites, 
Great American Flat-Lands 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, what would you rather have, by looking at the above nicknames?
For some reason, big boobs are more acceptable in society than small
boobs. By small boobs, I mean B or smaller, and by big I mean C and larger.

Whenever a big boobed person hears of a small boobed person that is
thinking about getting a boob augmentation, they think they are crazy,
considering how brutal it can be to properly care for big ta-tas. Sore backs,
double bras when exercising, expensive bras, chafing,etc. What they don't
realize, is how crappy it can be to find shirts that flatter or disguise small
boobs, and how self-conscious they can get once the guy they are with
realizes that the "handful" was actually padding/cookies in their bra.

Cookies = soft boob inserts

I have a friend that would get embarrassed when she was in the cold,
because her nipples WOULDN'T show through her shirt. She said it was a
dead giveaway for people to know she had padding. I had never thought of that,
but it makes total sense. Most big boobed people, meanwhile, are making sure
that their nipples are pointing in the right direction in their bras.

For all of you mean reading this, it is true. Sorry to give you realistic
information about the ladies you have been with.

I also have 3 or 4 friends over the years that have had boob jobs. It was
amazing to see the difference in them after they had larger boobs. They stood
up straighter, and their confidence skyrocketed. The only negative thing they
dealt with, was having to cover up the fact that they had an enlargement.

Again, society looks down on that for some reason.

I am hard pressed to think of what kind of plastic surgery I would have,
if I could have anything I wanted. Most of what I would change could be changed
if I worked at it. However, if I had some physical trait that I was ashamed of,
or was the source of my dwindling self-esteem, I would definitely save up to
fix it. Why wouldn't I, after all?

Getting surgery is no worse than fake suntanning, laser hair removal, piercing,
tattooing, etc. People think they look better by doing these things, so they do it.
We are all victims of vanity - we just vary in degrees from one another.

Whatever makes you feel better about yourself is good news. I haven't once met
a woman that had a breast augmentation that regretted their decision. They love
their new body, and they should. If you don't love what you have, it shows.

So let go of those judgements when you see a nice set of hooters.......although
women pay a lot of money for them, what they contribute back to their owners
is something that you can't put a price tag on.

June's Memorial

June Marie Galicia
April 26, 1972- August 10, 2006

Today I went to June's memorial at her house at Yonge and Sheppard. If you have ever been to a Filipino function, you know how many people attend, and how full you are when you leave.

I find it upsetting that it took June's death for a bunch of us to reconnect. In high school we were soooo close and for some odd reason we never stayed in contact after that. A few did, but not to the extent that good friends do.

It has bothered me for a year about why she died. It doesn't make any sense to me. Tonight I spoke to Cristina, a friend I haven't seen for 10-12 yrs. She gave me a different perspective which was so welcomed by my befuddled brain. She said that if you asked the 40 people in the room how many people have had cancer, you would have a few hands go up. It's just that June's cancer (uterine) was one of the hardest to fight, and that was the unfortunate component. Others that have had prostate, breast, skin and thyroid, have fought it and won. It was such a simple statement, but it has done wonders for my mind.

As I looked around at the pictures on the wall, many of them were of June when she was going through treatment. She was wearing scarves on her head, and was easily 30 lbs thinner than normal. She did NOT have 30 lbs to lose either. It broke my heart. I hadn't seen the family in at least 15 yrs....and yet they welcomed me as though no time had passed. A truly wonderful group of people.

I will not let important people out of my life in the future. I will make the extra effort, because life is short and before you know it, time runs out.

Scary Summer Sights

Ok people. Listen closely. Feet are ugly. Plain and simple. Now because they are ugly, you need to take extra care of them in the summer, where sandals are the norm.

There is NO reason for your heel to be white with an inch of dead skin. There is no need for your polish to be chipped and missing in chunks. There is no need for overly long toe nails.

I saw a man on the bus today that was about 35-40 yrs old. He had flip flops on, and his toenails were longer than any woman's fake nails I have seen. His big toe on one foot was curling under, and the other big toe had more dirt under it than a rock. When I looked at his feet, I threw up a little in my mouth.

I have toes that are like fingers. They are long, and ugly, and one toenail is dead due to a bicycle accident when I was 10. However, I slough my feet about twice a week, and treat my feet to peppermint foot cream before bedtime. If my nail polish is even a little bit chipped, I will either wear shoes, or strip them and coat them with new polish. I do exactly what is necessary to NOT draw attention to my feet.

I saw a chick, again, on the bus (see a trend yet?) that had FAKE toenails on. Apparently, there are stick-on nails that are as long as fake fingernails. They look reminiscent of the Guiness Book of World Records person with the longest nails ever. What's that? You've never seen her?

Allow me.


















Aren't they pretty with each nail in a different polish?

Ok, you know you have a problem when you can't even lay your bare foot down on the ground - and you need a stool to showcase the nails.

So this fake toenail trend...even men with foot fetishes can't find this attractive.Or can they?

Hell, some people have liked my toes before, and have even put them in their mouths. I thought I would hate it...but didn't. Don't turn your nose up until you've tried it. Too much info? Just goes to show you that what one person finds ugly, another finds beautiful.

Here is a perfect example of decent feet in summer sandals:














See? It can be done people. It can be done.

Stay tuned for my next topic....fake boobs. Coming soon, to a blog near you.

In Love With.....

I'm in love with the streetcar. The windows wide open, the sounds of the street, the lack of sound from an engine......just the humming along the track. The clink of the bell when the drivers signal to one another as they roll by.

I'm in love with a new flower shop that I discovered on Broadview, just south of Danforth. They have all types of plants and flowers, at a reasonable price...without the pretentious feeling. Just a family-owned business. I love to give flowers because most people don't receive them as much as they deserve.

I'm in love with air fresheners. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can't pass that aisle in a supermarket without stopping to smell them. My favourites are from Febreze. I like a fresh smelling apartment, what can I say?

I'm in love with the sound of people reading the newspaper, or magazines. The sound of the pages flipping, the crinkling of the paper, the index finger and thumb squeezing a page before it turns.

I'm in love with the Purolator dude that delivers to our office. He is genuinely excited to see us, and spills over with life. He loves his job; I can't help but smile when he shows up.

I'm in love with Last FM. It took me a few weeks to get over Pandora, when they decided to not allow Canadian residents to use their service. I stumbled across Last FM, and I haven't looked back since.

I'm in love with Crystal Light Iced Tea. It's delightful, when I am trying to wean myself off of Diet Coke.

I'm in love with all of the people that take the time to read my blog. It's flattering that I can write stuff that actually interests you, and that you keep coming back for more, even when I get grumpy with some posts.

Lastly, I am in love with.................who I have become. It took me 35 years, but it's been well worth getting to know who I am, and who I want to surround myself with.

That would be you.

Heat Wave, Part Deux

Today, it was 34 degrees plus the humidex. Unlike Wednesday and Thursday, there was a lovely breeze that kept the city in a more comfortable state. Although it was smokin' hot, there was no sweating as I moved from point A to point B. I can deal with the heat on days like today. I also had a few inches chopped off my hair, so I feel more buoyant and less elephantine (yes that is a word).

I am excited to attend Nicole's rooftop patio party tomorrow. Shall be a great time. She just bought a new condo at Church and King...by herself. She is my new, single, independent "personal hero" friend. If you have any idea how much property costs in Toronto, you can understand why I think she's magnificent.

Here is a picture of her dressed up like a bug, drinking something naughty:















We met while working at Columbia House. Yes, you heard me correctly. That place was a frickin' sweat shop, but I met some awesome people and she is one of them.

Tomorrow awaits.....

Funny, Serious, or Seriously Funny?

People change, and sometimes when that happens, friends and family don't handle it that well. I can understand that, because you choose your friends as to whether they are fun to be around, and whether they feed your personal needs. That's normal.

Up until a few years ago, when I was in a social situation, I would be the funny one. The one cracking jokes left right and centre. The centre of attention. That was what I knew. It was easy. I think I get that quality from my father, who was one of the funniest people I have ever met to this day. Half of the jokes and sayings that I STILL use are all borrowed from him. People that have met me in the last 3 years probably have a totally different view of who I am, since I am more reserved and am more of an introvert.

Usually the people that use humour 100% of the time, drive me nuts. When I see comedians like Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, and Adam Sandler on talk shows, I want to reach through the TV set and strangle them. They never turn themselves off on TV. A serious question is asked of them, and they manage to redirect it into something funny. I have read articles that the really funny people suffer from severe depression, and I believe it. I'm not naming names, but someone close to me is the funniest person in social situations and at work. People LOVE this person. I saw the other side of them in their off time: depressed, miserable and unappreciative of everything in their life. Yet, as soon as they met up with someone, WOOOO HOOOO, the fun person was back.....

It's incredibly superficial and deceiving. Not to mention, exhausting.

5 hours before my father died, he was still cracking jokes. I realize this was most likely for our sake (so we didn't remember him for how he looked), but I wished he could have just felt it was okay to be himself. When people reminisce about him they all default to stating how funny he was...but he was so much more than that. He was such an amazing person, but his humour was what people saw first and foremost. This, as well as other reasons..made me say "screw it". I don't want to feel like I am on stage all of the time. I would rather have great conversation, and find out what makes people tick. I love to sit in the corner at a party and spend the night speaking to one interesting person, than to sit there..... waiting...... looking for my perfect in.....and creating something funny to say in the midst of group conversation.

I once had a boss that never let anyone see anything but the patient, happy, fun side of her. Even when a customer tore her to shreds, she would smile and pretend that it didn't bother her. After about a year or so of this behaviour, she broke one day. I was soooooooo relieved to see this side of her, because it made her human in my eyes.

I want to see all sides of the important people in my life. The funny side, the angry side, the nurturing side, the vulnerable side, the patient side, the crazy side, and the intelligent side. Humans are not one dimensional people. I have the greatest respect for people that are able to be who they are with me.

I would rather be remembered for being "present" in someone's life than being the class clown.

After all, life is all about conversation, good food, good wine, and your friends/family.

So far, my life is chock-full of the above, so I am ahead of the game. That, my friend, is something to smile about.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Today was 35 degrees celcius, without the humidex. Add that nasty humidex in smoggy Toronto, and it was up near 40 degrees.

I am convinced that the heat makes people grouchy. They are irritable and pushy when it's hot and muggy out.

I worked my second job tonight, at St. Mike's College School downtown. I had to set up four mini fields on a football field...I merely had to walk around the field and set up pylons. I thought I was going to die. I was sweating like a madwoman. I watched 8 teams run around in the heat, taking extra water breaks to survive their games. I had to simply walk my fat ass around a field and yet I almost fell asleep on the sidelines. I don't know how construction workers do it. Honestly. The EMS must be so busy in weather like this, picking up old people that are suffering from heat stroke, or dying. Homeless people tend to drop like flies during heat waves.

I was chatting with a guy at work today who was complaining about some of the bus drivers in Toronto. He was pissed that some of them (that are likely from the islands originally), tend to leave the air conditioning off, since they feel the heat is normal. Meanwhile, the passengers leave puddles of sweat at their feet as they exit the bus. Couple that with someone pressing up on you, and you pretty much want to punch them in the back of the head. Hence, the bad mood factor.

All of these issues probably contribute to the grouchiness of the city. I also notice, personally, that I can't concentrate at work when it's this hot out. I just want to go home and nap on the couch. It saps the energy from my core.

Tomorrow it is going to be 35 again. +40 with the humidex. When I lived in Calgary, I could deal with the hot days. They were bearable. Toronto's are not. They are guh-roe-owce.

Hopefully this lets up. Otherwise I will be spending the whole long weekend on my couch, eating bonbons, drinking iced tea.

That actually doesn't sound too bad, now that I think about it.