Funny, Serious, or Seriously Funny?

People change, and sometimes when that happens, friends and family don't handle it that well. I can understand that, because you choose your friends as to whether they are fun to be around, and whether they feed your personal needs. That's normal.

Up until a few years ago, when I was in a social situation, I would be the funny one. The one cracking jokes left right and centre. The centre of attention. That was what I knew. It was easy. I think I get that quality from my father, who was one of the funniest people I have ever met to this day. Half of the jokes and sayings that I STILL use are all borrowed from him. People that have met me in the last 3 years probably have a totally different view of who I am, since I am more reserved and am more of an introvert.

Usually the people that use humour 100% of the time, drive me nuts. When I see comedians like Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, and Adam Sandler on talk shows, I want to reach through the TV set and strangle them. They never turn themselves off on TV. A serious question is asked of them, and they manage to redirect it into something funny. I have read articles that the really funny people suffer from severe depression, and I believe it. I'm not naming names, but someone close to me is the funniest person in social situations and at work. People LOVE this person. I saw the other side of them in their off time: depressed, miserable and unappreciative of everything in their life. Yet, as soon as they met up with someone, WOOOO HOOOO, the fun person was back.....

It's incredibly superficial and deceiving. Not to mention, exhausting.

5 hours before my father died, he was still cracking jokes. I realize this was most likely for our sake (so we didn't remember him for how he looked), but I wished he could have just felt it was okay to be himself. When people reminisce about him they all default to stating how funny he was...but he was so much more than that. He was such an amazing person, but his humour was what people saw first and foremost. This, as well as other reasons..made me say "screw it". I don't want to feel like I am on stage all of the time. I would rather have great conversation, and find out what makes people tick. I love to sit in the corner at a party and spend the night speaking to one interesting person, than to sit there..... waiting...... looking for my perfect in.....and creating something funny to say in the midst of group conversation.

I once had a boss that never let anyone see anything but the patient, happy, fun side of her. Even when a customer tore her to shreds, she would smile and pretend that it didn't bother her. After about a year or so of this behaviour, she broke one day. I was soooooooo relieved to see this side of her, because it made her human in my eyes.

I want to see all sides of the important people in my life. The funny side, the angry side, the nurturing side, the vulnerable side, the patient side, the crazy side, and the intelligent side. Humans are not one dimensional people. I have the greatest respect for people that are able to be who they are with me.

I would rather be remembered for being "present" in someone's life than being the class clown.

After all, life is all about conversation, good food, good wine, and your friends/family.

So far, my life is chock-full of the above, so I am ahead of the game. That, my friend, is something to smile about.