Pregnant and Parenting Teens

As most of you know, I was the live-in mentor for a group home of pregnant and parenting teens from 2002-2005. I started the journey with hope and belief that these kids could succeed. I left with the jaded view that unless the teen has a good family backing them, they will fail. Funding for these programs were cut every year, and I found myself spinning my wheels. More and more kids were losing their kids to the government. I left that field of work feeling like a failure, although it wasn't necessarily a reflection of my abilities.

I was returning home after I had drinks with an ex on Friday. The bus that I grabbed travels through a low-income area. There was a teenage boy and girl on that bus, with a 20 month old. They were no more than 17 yrs old. There was a friend of theirs with them, who was annoying and immature...but the parents were astute, responsible and refrained from swearing during the whole trip. The father shocked me the most. He had a shaved head, a sleeveless shirt and long shorts. Had I seen him on the streets, I would have judged him to be a punk-ass teenager. He was very aware of his daughter - he would hold her back when the bus turned corners, would make sure she was happy, and was just a good, present father overall. At one point the girl bumped her head, and he grabbed her, got up and started to bounce her while talking quietly in such a loving, calm voice. I fell in love with this guy. I saw so many punk-ass fathers come by the house that I worked at - who would feign interest, until the girlfriend would jump into bed with them again. This kid seemed to have his priorities in check. They were arriving home on a Friday night before 9:30. His friend mentioned that they should feed her some Gatorade and the father was quick to tell him that he wouldn't feed his daughter drinks that are made of pure sugar - they would rot her teeth. He also made a phone call during the trip and spoke to his brother and warned him that he better not have his girlfriend over there as the father had house rules that he should abide by. He ended the phone call by saying "I just don't want you guys fighting again."

It was a refreshing ride home. They were mature teenagers, that seemed to make the proper decisions. I hope they succeed with raising their daughter. I know there are teenagers out there that can succeed. It's just a shame that I personally didn't witness any in my time as a mentor.