Stupid Frosh

I have to keep reminding myself that I am no longer in Calgary, where there is no humidity.

Today was the best example of this.

It was our year-end staff party. Schools have let out for the most part, and our AGM is over, so we decided to go golfing and have a BBQ at a coworker's house in Mississauga.

I was dumb. I left this morning without eating breakfast, or filling my water bottle. We got stuck on the 401 which put us behind schedule, so I couldn't ask my coworker/driver to stop so I could grab some cash to buy some water. We arrived and it was FUCKING HOT at 10:22 a.m. We started the round and I took every opportunity to stand in the shade during the day. I carried my clubs, versus pulling them. I golfed horribly.

NOT ONCE did a drink cart drive by. NOT ONCE was there a water station at any of the holes. The temperature got up to 34 degrees - 41 degrees with the humidex. SWELTERING. I don't think I have felt that thirsty before EVER. We finished our 9 holes, and proceeded to go to Mac's where I bought a water (710mls) and drank it in 30 seconds. I treated my coworker to a small slurpee - and I grabbed one too. I was STILL thirsty after that. As we were driving up to the house where the BBQ was, I started to feel ill. My stomach was churning, and my head was a little off. I walked through the door and asked to use the bathroom.

Keep in mind that I have never been to this house, or met his wife, etc. He's a wonderful guy - volunteers for OFSAA and has done so for decades. He's a well respected man in Ontario high school sports.

I walk to the bathroom and then it hit me. I'm going to poo my pants. I'm going to pass out. I'm going to puke. I was on my knees, then back up on the toilet, then back on my knees. I soaked through my shirt with cold sweat and then hot sweat. I was a MESS. The nausea was insane. Ringing in my ears. MAN, what a horrendous 20 minutes. After I composed myself, I walked downstairs and everyone looked at me and told me to sit down, as I must have been white. It was at this point that I met the wife and felt like a jackass.

"Hi, I'm Meredith. Do you mind if I expel every ounce of fluid from my body in your bathroom?"

She was very understanding. There was so much food that looked delicious but the thought of ingesting it was sickening. Eventually my colour came back and I could be social. When I returned home, I slept for 4 hours, trying to get rid of my throbbing headache.

The moral of the story, is that I am no longer in the west. I have to pay special attention to hydrating myself properly. I'm no longer 15. I am not invincible. The humidity quotient in Ontario is new to me again and I need to be smart about it.

I learned a valuable lesson, as it could have been worse. Instead of heat illness, it could have been heat stroke. Thankfully, I am still alive to talk about it.

I refuse to be stupid again. Over my dead sexy body.