Trigger UNhappy

We all have triggers. Triggers are small things that uniquely set us off, when seconds before we could be in a great mood. The same small thing probably doesn’t affect the person next to you. When you allow yourself to become so affected by this trigger, it almost pisses you off that this bothers you so much. A vicious cycle, one might say. Traffic is probably the most common trigger. You're fine...and then you come to a standstill on the 401. BAM! You want to tear someone's head off.

When I worked at the group home, some staff members couldn’t take the kids on an outing. Some couldn’t handle the kids complaining when they felt there was nothing to complain about in their lives. Some couldn’t handle the kids’ personal care habits (or lack of). This one staff member used to get violent over this one child’s dandruff/dry scalp. I could handle all of the above. Kids will be kids. They'll complain their lives away. They will be shits, and know exactly that they are being a shit. They don't quite get it yet, because they are barely human. They haven't learned any real life lessons at that age.

However.

I would make dinner for the kids almost every night. I would prepare it, have someone set the table, and I would place all of the dishes on the table. We’d say grace, and then I would take my plate of food and seek solace in the staff room, away from the kids.

My trigger? I can’t handle bad table/eating manners. I’m not talking about knowing what fork to use, or how to fold your napkin on your lap. I’m talking about simple f-u-c-k-i-n-g manners, like keeping your mouth closed when you chew. Or tilting a glass, allowing the liquid to tilt into your mouth without sucking it in like it has a nipple on it. Or swallowing what you have in your mouth before you stab more food with your fork and jam it into your face. It appalls me when people have horrible manners. Where were their parents? Were they NOT taught how to hold their cutlery or do they choose not to follow what they were taught?

It’s deal breaker for me when I see bad table manners. If I can hear you chew, or I can see the food in your mouth while you are talking (talking with food in your mouth can be acceptable if done properly) I will stew in silence. There is no reason for it. My parents did such an amazing job with us, implementing manners. Table manners included. There was no singing at the table. No reading at the table. No making rude sounds. No shoveling food in. The television was not allowed to be on. We held our cutlery properly, and no one heard each other chewing or slurping.

(mind you, my dad started a little inside joke behind my mom’s back….he would show us his chewed food really quickly…and would go back to pretending nothing was wrong. We’d all take our turns and giggle. My mom would just shake her head.)

The kids at the group home would almost guard their food with their arms and hover over top of it. If there were 10 potatoes and 5 kids, some kids would take 4 potatoes each, with no concern about whom else was at the table. They would fart, and burp, pick up non-finger food with their fingers...and eat with their mouths open. They'd throw food across the table at another kid.

It seriously...seriously made my blood boil.
I couldn’t do it.
I just didn’t have it in me.
I had to leave.

I tried to instill these manners in them but they would just continue to push the envelope. I didn’t have the patience to keep up with my teachings.

I also find it hard to eat in common lunchrooms. I have tried three times since I started this new job and I can’t surrender to my trigger. It just takes one or two people that are manneristically-vacant (Wikipedia, here I come!) to ruin the whole experience for me. I become one of those people in the movies that can't hear anything else but the one sound that is amplified in their head. So I leave.

Oh and gum chewing is not exempt from this category. I feel like everyone in the world should be videotaped chewing gum. Just once. IF, after reviewing the tape, you aren't horrified with yourself, you can continue. I'm always stocked up with gum, and I have offered it to others to be polite; almost always I've regretted my decision immediately.

I would love to hear from my readers......

What is your trigger? Where does it stem from?