Laurelle Maloney Provender

October 19, 1969 - March 14, 2010

I miss my sister already. The thought of not being able to pick up the phone to call her or show up at her door makes me incredibly sad. I'm happy that so many people made it to her life celebration last Saturday. She would be excited to know that she made a difference in so many of your lives.

I thought I would paste in my speech just in case any of you weren't able to make it......


A Few Words About My Sister, Laurelle

Word.

Most of you younger folk out there know that Laurelle would start and end every phone call, voicemail, email, or chat with that phrase. It actually says this in her “about me” section on her facebook homepage.

For those of you that don’t know me, I am Laurelle’s sister, Meredith. Growing up with Laurelle was quite an experience. We had the typical sibling rivalry relationship as most sisters did. There were times when I questioned if she even knew I was alive, but then she would turn around and do something heartwarming such as rescuing me from a bully by grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up off the ground while threatening to kick his ass (true story). Then seconds later, she would pin me down and do the whole “sucking spit” thing. Consequently, I learned very quickly to grow a thick skin.

When I was a kid, I watched. I watched Laurelle draw. I watched her buy music albums and listen to them on her headphones. I watched her peruse the fashion magazines and fashion tv shows. I watched her apply her make up and watched her style her hair. I was in awe.

I knew that everything she did was cool. So much so, that I styled my hair like hers. I applied my make up like hers. I tried to draw and paint. I listened to the same music. I borrowed her clothes (without asking of course). I never questioned her judgment. I knew that whatever style she chose was just plain……cool. Of course, she accused me of being a copycat, and I never admitted to it until recently.

Laurelle helped me get my first job at McDonalds. We had a lot of fun working together. I lasted a year. She went on for 12 more. Whatever job she chose, it seemed that her staff and fellow employees loved her.

I have been reading comments and emails that old coworkers have been sending me, and it seems that they collectively appreciated the fact that she mastered the perfect combination of being a manager with a sense of humour while being a friend at the same time. She didn’t pull ego trips. They knew what was expected of them because she didn’t beat around the bush.

This quality of not beating around the bush is one that I appreciated the most about Laurelle. You always knew where you stood with her. There were no hidden meanings in anything. For the most part she was so incredibly easy going, but when she was pissed off or she didn’t like something, you knew it. She got right to the point and wanted it dealt with right there and then. There was no hiding.

As we got into our twenties, we became closer. Laurelle, unlike me, was a good communicator and called me often. We chatted about so many things, as sisters often do. We shopped, enjoyed our favourite past time (food), did a bit of partying and just hung out. Our relationship had transformed into a close friendship.

Once Laurelle got married to Greg and had her kids, Avery and Tristan, I noticed an amazing change in her. She transformed into an even more wonderful woman that was at ease and was finally doing what she was meant to do. She was a life partner and a mom.

She loved her kids more than anything. She was so at ease with it all. Nothing ruffled her feathers. Being a mom came so naturally.

Thanks to our parents, tradition meant a lot to Laurelle. She loved Christmas and taught the kids the importance of dressing the Christmas tree, decorating the house, and helping with the Christmas baking. Easter was filled with gifts and Easter egg hunts, birthdays with balloons and cakes and excitement. She was a real planner. So much so that she planned Easter next month, right down to the colour of the cupcakes. We’ll be celebrating together in the exact way that she planned it.

My father never had the pleasure to experience this part of her life, but I’m confident that he was looking down on her each and every day and was amazingly proud of her accomplishments and of her family. Now he is the lucky one. He’s able to listen to all of her stories and make her laugh, which in turn comforts us.

When Laurelle got sick, she handled it all with phenomenal strength and poise. She continued to plan events, take pictures and enjoy life. This isn’t to say that there weren’t tough times; she just chose to fight through them and come out the other side with a happy face.

For Christmas this year, Laurelle bought matching necklaces for her and I that say “Live, Love, Laugh”. It’s something you hear all the time, but not something that many people actually put into motion. Laurelle lived by this. She truly lived, she truly loved and man, she truly laughed.

Two weeks before she passed, there was an emotional moment between Laurelle and her best friend Sandra at the hospice. She asked Sandra why she was crying. Sandra said that she was so sad that this was happening – Laurelle told her to wipe her tears – that no one knows why certain people are chosen to have illnesses like this. She told Sandra that it was better for her to have it than for some innocent child to die from it.

But that’s who Laurelle was. She was honorable.

No one knows why the good ones always seem to be touched by this disease. I can’t make sense of it, although I really really really really wish I could.

I know Laurelle was putting support systems into place for Greg, her kids, my mom and I before she passed. She was always a caregiver by nature. I want to thank all of you that have helped us all over the last few years…for listening, distracting, offering help, etc. Laurelle would be happy to know that everyone is taken care of.

The staff at McNally House Hospice was so incredibly caring and compassionate; she was truly in great hands during her last days. I sincerely believe that they are angels in disguise.

Laurelle, you were the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend and boss that anyone could ask for. Your sense of humour was so tremendous – you carried it with you wherever you went. You were my best audience, as you laughed at everything that came out of my mouth.

I’ll miss you each and every second of every day.

Until we’re reunited again…

WORD.