The World Is Mine

You know, people in North America are so spoiled in the way that we think. If we don't have the best televisions, the latest cell phone, the nicest furniture, or stylish clothes... we feel sorry for ourselves..or feel less successful than our friends. It wasn't until I visited Cuba in 2004, and decided to take a tour of the actual city of Holguin - that I hit a major turning point.

I used to love the newest electronic gadget, and was constantly buying useless "stuff" to fill my apartment. I didn't need the best of everything, but I always had SOMETHING.

Most people in Cuba live in shacks, with no running water, and yet they could still be seen sitting around a decrepit picnic bench, laughing with their friends and family. They have their priorities in the right place; they don't take things for granted and truly understand that life is a gift.

Today, on Facebook, I created a status that said "Meredith is effen happy to be alive". I had several people message me and ask me why. I realize that the way it was written, may have sounded like I had a near-death experience, but some were just curious as to why I was so optimistic in general....

Now I realize that I am as cynical as the next person, but overall, I think I know what's important.

It reminded me of a poem that I have had tacked to a cork board for 15+ years that has always pulled at my heart strings. I still read it and get teary, because it speaks the truth. I have decided to share it with you today.....



The World is Mine

Today upon a bus I saw a girl with golden hair;
She seemed so gay, I envied her, and wish that I were half so fair;
I watched her as she rose to leave, and saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed--a smile.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine; I have two legs--the world is mine.

Later on I bought some sweets. The boy who sold them had such charm,
I thought I'd stop and talk awhile. If I were late, t'would do no harm.
And as we talked he said, "Thank you, sir, you've really been so kind.
It's nice to talk to folks like you because, you see, I'm blind"

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine; I have two eyes--the world is mine

Later, walking down the street, I met a boy with eyes so blue.
But he stood and watched the others play; it seemed he knew not what to do.
I paused, and then I said, "Why don't you join the others, dear?"
But he looked straight ahead without a word, and then I knew, he couldn't hear.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine; I have two ears--the world is mine.

Two legs to take me where I go,
Two eyes to see the sunset's glow,
Two ears to hear all I should know,

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine;
I'm blest, indeed, the world is mine.

Dr. Tennyson Guyer

Summer Has Arrived!

Last Thursday I had a bowling tournament for our work social club. Friday and Saturday consisted of me walking around like I had been shot in the hip. Bowling of all things? My knees and hips were killing me.

Today, I felt better and decided to take my first bike ride of the year since the weather was +25. I yanked my bike out of storage and pumped up the tires. A few kilometers into the ride, I got a flat. My stem was cracked. About 45 minutes later, and two hands covered in grease, I was on my way again. I had never changed a tire before so I was liberated and ready to go.

It amazes me when I realize how much of this city I wasn't aware of. There are some GREAT bike paths here.... I jumped on one that took me right down to Queen Street E. It should have taken me to the Lakeshore, but there was a detour....a painful detour. A detour that required you to carry your bike up 100 steps. I was OK, but there was this little Asian guy in front of me with a heavy-ass CCM or Canadian Tire special. The bike must have easily weighed more than him. Why had I missed the detour? Because some stupid asses spray painted over all of the trail signs that tell you how many kilometers are left and what detours are set up. Shame. I never really understood the whole graffiti thing, but I guess I will save that rant for another posting.

I spent an hour or so people watching at the beaches, and biked home again. My bike computer and the GPS system that Annette gave me (you rock Nettles) clocked the whole trip at approximately 40 kms.

I can just imagine how I will feel tomorrow, because currently my knees feel like they have been bashed in by Tonya Harding. My neck is stiff too, from hunching over.

All of that aside, it was SPECTACULAR to get back on the bike again. This weather makes me feel happy to be alive. People were out in the hundreds of thousands today. I passed picnics, barbecues, and family gatherings.

Summer is wonderful.

Update

I would give my left boob for a piece of red meat.

I am craving a greasy burger/steak like mad.

I will not give in though.I had that flu for a couple of weeks and my appetite was poor, yet the scale didn't reflect any loss. I think my body had retained tons of water because I wasn't drinking enough. My rings were tight on my fingers.

I am making better choices - still taking the stairs down 20 floors each morning, and I haven't eaten out a lot. I've been to the gym twice this week. It's on the main floor of this building. It occured to me that even if the gym was IN my apartment, I could STILL talk myself out of going.

So as an update, I have lost a few pounds, but it has been painful thus far. Hopefully I will hit a stage where it's easy - but my body is apparently going through meat/grease withdrawal. My heart will thank me, yes, blah blah. I'll update you every month or so. Any more than that, and it gets boring to read (and type).

Oh one more thing...once the good weather arrives (when the hell will that be? I've already experienced 6 mths of winter..3 in Calgary, 3 here) I can get out on my bike. However, I am a fair weather cyclist.. so I refuse to ride when it's under +15 celcius.

Bring on the effen good weather, gosssshhh.

Ontario Attractions

So it occurred to me recently, that although I lived in Ontario for 27 yrs before moving away, I really hadn't experienced it to the fullest. Andrea was driving in downtown Toronto one day - I noticed this new neighbourhood that I never really paid attention to before- she told me it was Cabbagetown. My downtown geography was always poor since I was raised in the burbs. I realized that there were several areas and pockets of the city that I had heard of, but had never seen. Same goes for attractions.

So, in an effort to explore this province, I have created a list of things to see and do in the next two years. If you are interested in joining me, please let me know:

Toronto

Casaloma
St. Lawrence Market ( was there when I was about 7; don't recall anything about it)
Kensington Market
Toronto Zoo (it's been 10-15 yrs)
Ontario Science Centre (it's been 10+ years as well)

Day/Weekend Trips

Tobermory (I hear it's gorgeous)
Grand Bend
Explore Ottawa
Niagara-on-the-Lake

Irritable

This past week I have been under the weather - chest cold, flu-ish, etc. I have been so insanely grouchy and irritable since I don't have my regular voice and I am tired all the time.

Which got me to thinking:

People often mention how people get old and automatically turn into grumps. Well, no wonder. When your body won't do what it's supposed to, and you feel as though things are out of your control, it's only natural for your to get angry. I watched my father get more and more grumpy as he got sicker, and I felt horrible for him. There is nothing more frustrating then being totally independent and watching that slip through your fingers.

When you're irritable, things that don't usually bother you, all of a sudden piss you right off. This is what I have noticed this week:

American Idol

Is it really necessary for the contestants to show the audience how many fingers it is to vote for them? I mean, when Ryan says "7" I can't be sure, but I think it means.. 7.

Could Randy maybe develop some vocabulary? I'm so sick of "dawg", "check it out", "it just didn't do it for me", "I don't know" and sucking air through his teeth when he doesn't know what to say. The man is 51 this year, yet he speaks like he's 13.

Spitting

Hmmmm let's see - what else can I complain about....spitters. Is it really necessary to spit all the time? I mean, is it a " I think I am cool" thing, or is it that they really can't stand the taste in their mouths? I stood behind this loser while we were waiting for the bus last week, and he must have spit about 30 times in 10 minutes. I don't know how he wasn't perpetually dehydrated. Oh and one more thing. It's nasty. I understand about those times when you cough and phlegm comes up, you look around, no one is there so you spit...but when you are spitting saliva, and pure saliva, what's the point?

Facebook

Plain and simple, it's addictive. And I love it. Those that know me well, know that I love keeping in touch with people, so this is an amazing tool to do so. Yay, facebook!

I can't finish this post on a negative note, so I will add some positivity.

Saturday Night

I had friends and my sister over on Saturday night as a thank you for being so supportive during my move home. Well, that's how I expected the night to go. I was going to order pizza and we were to chat, play games, etc.

It was all turned around on me and they showered me with gifts and food. I couldn't believe it. As much as I try to "pay back" people here, it's never going to happen. They are so giving it's incredible. Among my gifts, I received a lamp set, a hot shot (the coolest invention ever - kettles are outdated) and my favourite clock from Ikea.

I have wanted this clock forever. It's huge. HUGE.



















I know it's hard to tell from this pic, but it's easily 2 feet in diameter - and required a plug in the wall to secure it. I look at it every day and think, man, that's a nice clock.

I have the best friends/family ever. EVER.

At LEASE-st it's over

Out of sight out of mind right? For me at least.

My car has been parked in the underground for over a month. I have been absolutely dreading going down there to clean her out....but I finally did yesterday. I had to go wash it in the bay which required me moving it - and it was weird. Felt like driving a new car - hard to judge it, seemed bigger than it is, etc. This morning I drove it to work (although the sticker is expired) because I was having an "end-of-lease" inspection. The guy that showed up, went through my car with a fine-tooth comb. Honestly, you should have seen the stuff this guy was doing - he had a mechanism that measured the depth of the paint on all of the panels!

I had already replaced the windshield and the tires - and thank goodness they passed. Otherwise I would have put a gun in my mouth (Mom, if you're reading this, I'm kidding.)

The report he gave me showed everything that was wrong with the car ($650 worth) which was waived for "normal wear and tear". Under the "extra wear and tear" area, he logged me as missing my front bracket for the licence plate. I informed him that in Alberta, there is only one plate on the vehicle, so they don't drill holes in the car. He told me I could fight it. Unbelievable. Mind you, he told me that he didn't have info on his computer that I was over my mileage, so hopefully the dealership doesn't ding me for that too. If they don't, I can suck up this extra $30.

Having driven this car to work today, it made me realize how much I miss having a car. It's weird not to be behind the wheel on a regular basis. Driving is something I do very well, and I kind of feel like if I don't drive often, I'll lose my skill gradually. Gay, I know.

This is only for a few months- maybe a year, tops. I need to pay off my move and get my finances in order. It's a small price to pay.

You don't miss what you don't have.....out of sight, out of mind.....?

I wish I wouldn't have driven my car today.

Update

So it seems that I am fighting something off - the gland behind my left ear feels like a marble, and is quite tender and sore. I tend to never really get crazy/bed-ridden sick; I just fight something off for a few weeks at a time...and then it's over. The last time I had this was Christmas Day 2005. I had to fly back home that night and I felt like I was going to vomit and pass out from exhaustion. The next week felt like I had mini-mono.

Why am I telling you this?

The whole MEC incident from the last post, was likely from this illness rather than my fatosity*, as I mentioned.

At least that's what I am hoping. I'm sure being smaller will make me feel better anyhow. This does not affect my plans.

* a word created by me

Fat?

beefy, big, blimp, brawny, broad, bulging, bulky, bull, burly, butterball, chunky, corpulent, cow, distended, dumpy, elephantine, fleshy, gargantuan, gross, heavy, heavyset, hefty, husky, inflated, jelly-belly, lard, large, meaty, obese, oversize, paunchy, plump, plumpish, ponderous, porcine, portly, potbellied, pudgy, roly-poly, rotund, solid, stout, stubby, swollen, thickset, tubby, weighty, whale

These are the definitions I found when I plugged "fat" into www.thesaurus.com.

Today I went to MEC and while I was in the store, I got so hot so quickly that my heart started to beat faster and I felt nauseous. This could have been because MEC turns me on, and makes me excited...but unfortunately it was because I am too fat and started to feel faint due to my fatosity*.

Recently I have received some online photo albums by email where I showed up in some of the pics. What a nasty sight. I've felt unhappy with my weight for about 10 years, but I've loved food so much that it's always been "food vs nice body" and food won every time. My skin is terrible, my hair is unhealthy, and I have a general look of "exhaustion". I look 10 yrs older than I am. I feel gross all of the time. My knees hurt, my back hurts, I get tons of headaches, etc. It's time to buck up and face the music. I need to do this publicly so that I am held responsible and stay on track.

Here are my goals:

1. to fit into the womens' line of MEC clothes
2. to feel good, mentally and physically
3. to not feel embarrassed to reconnect with old friends that I haven't seen in a long time
4. to be healthy enough to be around for a long time for my friends and family

Here is what I will do:

1. eat better (duh)
2. not follow a "diet"persay - but put my BPHE degree to use for once
3. cut out red meat
4. treat myself to chicken wings (my weakness) once a month
5. get back into the exercising routine that I was once in

I don't have a specific weight loss goal. I just want to get to a weight where I feel healthy and am happy. When I first started university, I was 70 lbs less than I am now (yikes). See pic - yes that is me on the far right.....(not the chick with half a finger, holding a camera - she has nails -something I've never had).













When I finished university, I was 40-50 lbs thinner than now.














God I love that picture. We were at the Bay in Montreal in 1996. We saw these hats, and decided to pretend we were models. Funny. Look ma, I have cheekbones.

Recent(ish) pics of me (it pains me to post these)





























So as you can see, I have some work to do.

Recently, Jann Arden lost a ton of weight. She looks 20 years younger, vibrant, and happy. If she can do it, why can't I?

So don't be surprised some of my future posts have to do with me bitching about my journey.

Wish me luck. With my past habits, I will definitely need it.

* a word created by me

Inhaling the New FlameThrower Chicken Sandwich

I swear, there are masterminds behind DQ commercials. Every single one makes me laugh. This one, the old one where the corporate worker sets of the sprinklers, and the one where the baby in the front carrier keeps kicking his father in the nuts...funny, funny, funny.

Just TRY to talk like these actors. You will automatically cough.

Popular Yet Grammatically Incorrect Sayings

Once in a while, a certain "saying" will totally irk me, for personal reasons.

The saying that I would like to discuss in this entry is:

"my bad"

Not only is this horrendous grammar, it bothers me because it's not a sincere apology or admission of making a mistake. It's almost in the category of:

"you know I'm sorry"

OR

"you know I love you"

No, actually, I didn't know that.

By removing anything emotional or personal, and using these statements, it's almost like saying "don't be silly, you should know these things although I never say them."

Anyhooo back to the original statement.

"My bad" is a ghetto way of saying that you made a mistake. It's ebonics, but worse. There is a time and place to joke around - for example - with my friends I will joke around and say stupid things like "word", "peace out", etc.

However, when I am in a serious setting (meeting, interview,etc) I don't use this slang. Most others don't either, but the term 'my bad' has managed to pass the barriers of social appropriateness. I can be in a serious meeting and one individual will accuse another person of something -once they realize they are in the wrong, they default to this retarded saying.

I just don't get it. Say you're sorry, or that you made a mistake. Plain and simple. People will respect it more.

Another term that seemed to popularize over the years is "not".

I'm so pretty. NOT.

I believe that Saturday Night Live started this one. So crazy. So grammatically incorrect.

Some accuse me of over-analyzing everything. In this case, I have.

My bad.

Jordin Sparks-I Who Have Nothing

BEAUTIFUL VOICE

Ryan Seacrest and The Bawl Baby

Is it just me, or is Ryan Seacrest a miniature version of a normal size human being? Apparently he is 5"9 but most short guys say they are 2 inches taller than they really are. It's not just his height though- take a look at him on American Idol, when he is standing beside ANY of the contestants (guys AND girls). His head is HALF the size of theirs. Sorta like that Beetlejuice character.

Very odd.

On another note, it's not very often that music brings me to tears. Tonight, one song did. Jordin Sparks sang "I Who Have Nothing" and I was so moved by her performance that I was tearing up. She did an INCREDIBLE job. The song never did anything for me since "Mr. Cheeseball Extraordinaire" Tom Jones sang it. Well, technically Ben E King did an okay job too, but a woman brings much more conviction and emotion to it. MAN, what a song. Once it's posted on 'you tube', I will post it for your listening pleasure.

Mini Zip

Well, yesterday was my first experience with Zipcar and for the most part it was positive. I borrowed a Mini Cooper and let me tell ya.......I WANT THAT CAR.

I was a little disappointed that some of the past borrowers had smoked in the car (which is a major no-no) but that was of no fault to the actual company. I sometimes wish I didn't have the nose power of a hound. I picked it up at 10am, and returned it at 7:30pm. No need to fill it up with gas, no extra insurance rates - just fun and games!

I went to visit my sister and the gang, and made a stop at Ikea on the way home. It was a nice day, and to drive again, after being absent for 3 weeks, was nice. Driving is in my bones - I do miss it. But this is a nice substitute, and will have to do for now.

My friend Christine in Victoria just bought this car, so I googled it - I was surprised to find that it's really not that expensive. You can buy a low end model for about $21,000 brand new. Not bad.

There is a tiny backseat though - which goes hand in hand with my recent debate as to whether kids are in my future.

Zippity do dahhhh!

Multiple Rants

I think of several things to blog about during my travels, but since Alzheimer's runs in my family, I freely forget them by the time I sit down to blog. Today is an odd day whereby I remembered three things that I wanted to mention, so before my mind turns to goo again, here I am.

1. The State of Toronto

I am appalled at how lazy this city is. Lazy is one word, but I really think disrespectful is a better term. The amount of garbage on the ground is absolutely disgusting. I adore that my parents taught Laurelle and I about the importance of throwing things in a RECEPTACLE. I saw this LOSER on the bus yesterday eat an entire McChicken combo...it smelled wonderful by the way. When I pulled the dinger to get off, I walked past the seat that he was originally sitting in, and there on the floor of the bus was his McDonald's bag. I mean, is it really too much trouble to carry that with you until you get off the bus? There are garbages everywhere in this city, but they sit empty, with wrappers and boxes littering the green space around them. Some argue that the spring is worse when the snow melts and exposes all of the garbage underneath, but WHY is it there in the first place? Snow is not an excuse to be disrespectful and boorish. Plain and simple, people are pigs.


2. Annoying Movie Trailer Guy

What is it about movie trailers that requires "that guy" to speak in his lowest, most unnatural voice?
I can't help but notice it every time I sit through one - I don't know how the rest of the people sitting in the theatre aren't sick of him too..?

Maybe you have never noticed how retarded his voice sounds. If that is the case, here is a clip. It's the "geico" clip at the bottom - at least he's poking fun at the absurdity of his voice.

http://www.donlafontaine.com/DLF2007/Index.html?p=NowPlaying.html&pt=NowPlaying

Now here is a normal voice:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/thereaping/trailer1a/

Much nicer don't you think?

3. Kids

I honestly don't know how parents do it. I really don't. In the first 6 months of your child's life, you are tied to them, literally. You are at their beck and call, and every decision you make is about your child. Which is obvious and understandable, don't get me wrong. But man, they are exhausting. I have the utmost respect for people with kids. If they are doing it on their own - then they are just plain amazing people. That's all I have to say about this. I don't know if it's in my cards; I am waaaay too selfish for motherhood. I'll stick with my niece/nephew and my friends' kids. I like most kids, but I can visit, and then leave them with their parents. Ohhh sweet freedom.

If You're Wondering...

whatever happened to my plans to finish a 10K, I can confidently tell you that it won't happen.

I have lost all interest.

Mind you, I can't wait to get my bike back on the road. I'm just not a runner. Can't do it.

I'd rather walk/bike 100K than run for 5K.

Too many things jiggle and shake when I run, and that is NEVER a good feeling.

I have started walking downstairs from my floor though, so 20 floors can get really trying. But once again, down is better than up, so I shouldn't complain.

That's all. I'm on March break this week and thought I would take some time out and come clean about my laziness.

Zippity Do Dah

This whole "having a car in Toronto" thing is for the birds.

To be able to register an out-of-province vehicle, I had to have it inspected. Upon having
this inspection, I was told that I needed:

a. new tires ($600)
b. new windshield ($350)
c. new brakes ($350)

Now for those of you who don't know what I drive, I drive a 2003 Mazda Protege. A fairly new car.
The whole thing has been a bureaucratic nightmare. My sticker expired a week and a half ago, and I decided to not renew it, since my lease is up next month. I crunched some numbers, and realized to have it certified, and registered, it would be about $1500, and then I would have to buy the friggin thing out.

Sooooo, upon some serious deliberation, I decided to update the vehicle with used tires and a new windshield that would pass the lease inspection when I return it in a month. I priced these items, and bought them both for $430. I then parked my car underground in my building and bought a transit pass.

I have been using this pass now for 2 weeks and I realize that I don't REALLY need a car. I walk to work. The buses/streetcars come every 5-10 minutes and the subways are 4-5 minutes apart at their slowest period. It's a no brainer.

The idea of NOT having a car is weird for me, since I have owned one for the last 13 yrs. I thought that maybe this would be a short term solution originally...but now I think it may be more long term. Not having a car will save me almost $500 a month.

I then speculated about those times when I may miss having a car - going to see my sister and her family who live an hour south of Toronto..or seeing my Mom who lives an hour and a half north of Toronto - or seeing friends that live just outside the city where the buses are a little more tricky..

So I decided to become a Zip Car member. For those of you who have never heard of car sharing, here is the 411:

• You buy a membership for $30.
• You apply online and give them your driver's abstract.
• You purchase a monthly plan for $50, $75, $125 or $250. Or, you can waive the monthly plan and join the occasional plan which has an annual fee of $55.
• There are over 200 cars parked all over the city.
• You reserve the car for anywhere between an hour and 24 hours.
• You receive a card which you hold over the windshield and this unlocks the car and you drive away.
• If you get low on gas, there is a gas/fleet card in the car which you use to fill it up.
• You pay an hourly/daily rate which includes gas, parking, and insurance. I believe the daily max is $60-70.

Pretty cool huh?

I thought so. The cars to choose from are all under 3 years old and are fun - civics, golfs, minis, jettas, volvos, fits, prius', etc.

The best part is that you are on the insurance plan for the company, so you are gaining an insurance record. This helps down the road when you want cheap insurance rates.

So this is the new Meredith. It feels good to not contribute to the smog problem in the city as well. Back in one of my movie blog reviews (Who Killed the Electric Car?), I joked around about not having a car and becoming a granola-eating vegetarian. I guess I shouldn't have made fun, because here I am ....what's next? Birkenstocks? Dreadlocks?

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

I don't understand why the good ones are always taken early.

The rude, crusty, angry people always live until they are 100..... and yet the wonderful, loving, giving people die of horrible illnesses, accidents, and bizarre occurrences. It's the one thing in life that I can't make sense of.

My Uncle Harold died today of a massive heart attack. No warning, no early signs of anything. One second he was fine, the next he was gone. His daughter Dee Ann is 7 months pregnant with what would have been his first grandchild. He never smoked, he never touched alcohol, and he was always on the go, helping everyone else out. He was 61.

Harold was always so great to my parents, and when my father died - he always looked out for my Mom. He fixed appliances, moved furniture for her, painted, and made sure she was doing okay. He had a phenomenal character, and was an inspiration to everyone. I'll miss him. If I end up being half the person he was, I'd consider myself blessed.

I still don't get it. There are some things in life that aren't fucking fair and this is one of them.

Everyting is Irie Mahn

I hope everyone that is reading this is doing well, assuming I actually know you. Not that I wish bad things on strangers, but you know what I mean.

Things have been good since arriving home. My job is fantastic (they actually treat me well - wow, what a concept), my apartment is wonderful, my friends in T.O have been great, and I am happy to be here.

Things I Miss About Calgary:

1. Nicastro's house flavoured wings, which probably taste better now that the smoking bylaw is in effect
   
2. The big blue sky and the sun. I have had to use my sunglasses twice since moving to Toronto
3. Movie Central. For some stupid reason the movie channels out here don't show "The L Word", one of my favourite shows
   
4. Ginger Beef. They just don't make it right out here if they attempt to make it at all
5. Seeing the mountains in the distance
6. The Uptown Theatre. Love that place.
   

Things I Don't Miss About Calgary:

1. The traffic
2. The stupid drivers
3. The construction
4. The lack of snow plowing
5. Gravel hitting my windshield
6. Having the pay for shitty health care out of my pocket

I know I'll add the weather to the 'things I miss' in the summer when it's +60 celcius with the humidex. However, there is nothing like wearing shorts in the evening here. It stays warm from morning to night. I remember how romantic it felt when I was young, walking hand in hand along the beach, in shorts and a tee. Ah, the good old days.

But I digress.

Well, that's it for this entry. I have about 6 loads of laundry to do and I have to catch up on about 6 movies on my movie review blog.

Have a wonderful week everyone!

Disclaimer:

By the above statement of not missing anything about Calgary, that does not include
people. So please don't get your knickers in a knot if you are reading this, feeling a little insulted. I miss you all. Kisses.

Props from Nicooooooooooolaaaaaaa

I was checking out my friend Nicole's blog as I do a few times a week, and she was nice enough to dedicate a posting to me. She even added an artistic impression of me, a la South Park.

Brilliant.

Nicole and I met working at the sweat shop, er, I mean Columbia House. We were around the same age, Gemini's and equally cynical. She has a passion for music while I have a passion for independent movies. We're quite similar in many respects.

Looking forward to seeing some flicks at the Carlton with her. She's a cool chick.

Check out her blog.

A Good Hug Is Worth A Thousand Words

As I get older, I have realized that you can tell SO MUCH from HOW someone hugs you. It's almost like a handshake. Some people will give you a wonderfully firm handshake and some a floppy fish. The latter is insulting. Same goes for a bad hug.

A good hug speaks volumes. It shows that the person cares about you, and isn't afraid to show it. It illustrates that they are open, giving, and they enjoy being close to you .

Hugging is good. Being touched is a great thing. People feel good - they are warm, and they smell nice. Giving a hug is really quite simple once you realize the only reason to give a hug is to feel the comforting presence of another body up against your own. There really is no other reason to give someone a hug. A good hug makes my day.

Recently I have received some of the best hugs in my life:

Jamie in Calgary gives the warmest hugs. He usually prefaces them with a damn good kiss too.

Lesley gives very long, meaningful hugs.

I recently met my friend Tammy after 12 or 13 yrs of us losing touch. She gave me the most strong, solid hug that I think I have ever received. I am easily 100 lbs heavier than her and yet I didn't feel the difference in physique. Her hug was remarkable for her slight stature.

I look forward to many hugs during the holidays. If you're reading this, I expect a good one. No leaning in, no butt sticking out. No patting on the back. A warm, sustaining, close, embrace. A quick hug is no fun.

Oh and if you're a single, independent, hard working man, I'll take a kiss under the mistletoe as well.

:)