Alberta, Once More

So Toronto just wasn't working for me. I liked being close to my family and friends, don't get me wrong. I was also grateful that I made the timely choice to move there, with my sister's illness and passing and all.


I just found it hard to keep plugging away day after day when I wasn't enjoying the city. I've never been a fan of Toronto, but this last stint home allowed me to experience more about the city than I even realized existed. Not owning a car for two years enhanced this. I discovered all of the street festivals and fun things to do downtown. Even with those experiences, it was time to move on.


I considered London Ontario, Halifax, Vancouver and Calgary. As much as I liked the other cities, I have more of a network out here, and let's face it....forty is way too old to start from scratch.

So here I am. 


I work for Alberta Health Services as a Researcher's Assistant, just like I was at Sunnybrook. I live in a house, instead of a condo. I cut my expenses in HALF and don't have to pay PST anymore. Oops. I mean HST ...(cough *bullshit* cough).


My car insurance in Alberta went down almost a THOUSAND dollars a year. Can you imagine?


Yes, the weather is a little unpredictable at times, but I enjoy the summers out here more. I don't feel like sweaty mess just walking to the corner. I like the lack of humidity in the summers, but that also extends to the winters. Having a humidifier is a necessity now, or my fingers will break off my hand.


I still miss my family and friends in Toronto, but I will be home often, as my cousin added me to his flight perks at Westjet again. I fly standby for pennies. Good old, Danny. I also have great friends that make the effort to visit me out here too.


I realize I haven't blogged in 11 months and that is unacceptable. I guess I have been using Facebook as a media outlet recently.


Either way, I hope everyone is well, and that you have a lovely Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever other religious holiday(s) you celebrate.


Meredith
xo

30+ Singles Condo Development

The other day on Facebook, people were ribbing me because I was considering getting my meals made and my apartment cleaned by different services. Someone made the smart ass comment about moving into a retirement community...and it got me thinking...

Sooo listen to me. So you go to university/college, and you have everything at your doorstep. Meal plans (if you choose), your main areas cleaned, and your friends nearby.

After university you hit the real world (well some of us anyway) and live like this until you are too old to take care of yourself. You bust your ass working, buy a house that you don't have time to clean, spit out some kids, deal with their snotty noses, dirty bums, school tuitions and ungratefulness...and then kick them out when they are 25. THEN, once your mortgage is paid you're too effen tired to enjoy yourself. You have a few years to yourself and then you get grandkids that you end up taking care of full time again. Then your kids put you in a nursing home/retirement community. Meals are made, your place is cleaned, and your friends are nearby again.

Imagine if someone developed a 30+ community...for single professionals. Imagine taking a suite-based hotel and making it into a condo-type community. You have concierge. You have underground parking. You have meals made for you in the dining room for breakfast, lunch and dinner. A 24 hour snack room. Laundry services included. A DECENT fitness centre. A pool. Once a week your unit is cleaned by housekeeping staff. A sports pub/bar on the main floor with couches, billiards and various other games. An on-site doctor, and massage therapist.

I'd even go so far as to having a pay card that has a specific amount of money on it that you can spend at an on-site grocery store each month. So, if you don't want to eat in the dining room, you can grab the food to make in your kitchen upstairs.

Everyone would have their own bathrooms and kitchen space - remember, it's a suite-based hotel.

One.

Stop.

Home.

Yes, you would have to pay more for all of this, but hell...even if it was $1700-2000 a month, I'd still be saving money in the long run.

When you go on an all-inclusive vacation, the best part is not having to deal with cleaning and cooking and just relaxing, right? Why not have this in your off time? It could happen if you pay the right price.

Makes sense to me. Now I need to pitch my idea to someone that will listen.

November Update

Moving onwards and upwards, literally.

Got a job 5 floors up from where I used to work. Still the hospital - different department, working for new scientists, but doing the same thing. Can't complain. Had to take a wee bit of a pay cut but hell, I still have a job. This was a big relief.

Other excitement: I found my gazelles! Well, my friend Andrea did at least. After 10 years of searching, she finally found them for me at a place called Si Vous Play Sports. You can't imagine the excitement on my face when she showed me the purchase. So, so, so excited. Can't wait to wear them.

Chopped my hair off. After having it long, and then shaving my head, and then growing it out again, I realized how much I hate having long hair. My hair is too thick and curly to manage properly.

Actually, I realized how insignificant it is as well. You can have short hair, long hair, no hair. No one cares. No one notices. They may notice something is different but they really can't place it.

Anyhow, I much prefer the short do.

Christmas is coming, and to be truthful, I am not looking forward to it. Every year it gets more lonely. All of the family memories come to mind and it's more difficult to enjoy. I'm not going to whine about it though because it's not going to make a difference. All I can say is that life is different now and we just have to make the best of it.

Scooter Rage

If I ever get so fat that I can't walk on my own, and need a scooter to travel, please take me out back and put a bullet through my eye.

There are a few topics that get me hot under the collar and this is one of them.

When I see fat people on scooters, I want to yank them off. Walk, damnit. We know you can. Oh what's that? You can't because you have bad knees and you have a debilitating back problem? Maybe if you walked more often, you wouldn't.

Christ.

There is a woman here at work, that is obese. She also has a scooter. Strangely, the scooter doesn't go home with her at night though *sarcasm*. She walks to her car, which incidentally is riiiiiiiiight outside her office. The rest of us have to walk about 56 kms to our cars, yet she mysteriously gets one within spitting distance. Amazing how that works.

Guaranteeeeeeeed that the workplace pays for her scooter....which is my point here. It's too bad that Occupational Health can't just assist her in the area of nutrition and exercise. Instead they have to allow her to do her job properly, and by doing so, they provide her with a scooter to get around. Yes, this workplace is massive. You can walk a kilometer and a half from one end to the other....and even the fittest of us complain about having to go back and forth. But maybe, just maybe, the exercise would help.

I also see this lady leaving her scooter in the hall while she is in someone's office, and blocking off corridors while she stops people to chat. It's like those idiots in grocery stores that park their fucking carts in the middle of the aisle while people are trying to navigate their carts up and down the aisle too. The world doesn't revolve around you, Missy. Get some sense.

However, this brings me to another point. Scooters should only be programmed to move at the speed that a human can walk. I don't know how many times I have heard the whirring of a scooter, only to look back and jump out of its way as it blows my hair back from the sheer speed of it passing me.

So let me get this right....you can't WALK, yet you feel you should be able to move faster than those of us who can? Hell, they even max the speed on golf carts. They should do the same with scooters.

If you're old, yes, I understand the scooter. If you're fat, I don't. Unless you are fat with a pre-fat-existing issue, that is. What would that be, you ask? Chronic pain that puts people on their backs. Steroids/medication that make you gain enormous amounts of weight. Tumours on your pituitary gland (happened to a friend of mine). Stuff like that. Otherwise, get your fat ass off the scooter and start moving.

Yes, I am overweight too. Not obese, but overweight.

If I ever got so fat that I couldn't navigate the world on my own, I would scrape away my taste buds and live on fruit and veggies, since I would have no interest in food at that point anyhow.

Actually, now that I think about that last idea....*gets the potato peeler from the kitchen drawer*.....

Lovely Cynthia

Update - she is out of the hospital and feeling almost back to normal.

Thank goodness!

You Can Get Older, But You Don't Have To Grow Up!

For Mother's Day, I took my mom to see Jersey Boys. We loved it. I decided to drive my car as it was more convenient.

When we arrived back at my place, my mom got out of my car and then questioned why there are so many cars in the underground garage that are completely covered in soot. I told her that they haven't been driven for whatever reason for a few years. I continued to talk and then realized she wasn't near me. When I turned around, her back was to me and she was facing a car.

When she moved away from it, I chuckled.

It just goes to show you that you can grow older, but you don't have to grow up.

Now, each morning and evening, I pass this car and smile, remembering my 74 yr old mom being silly that day.

Lucky Duck

How does someone get to be 38 yrs old, and never spend a night in the hospital?

I ask myself this every day, when I see all those around me spend too many days/weeks in them.

Currently, my cousin's fiance/baby mama is in the hospital. She's been in there for a week now, and the doctors can't seem to diagnose her. She went to emergency after having bad headaches, nausea, and vomiting for a few days.

They think that it's aseptic meningitis coupled with gallbladder disease. Or pancreatitis. Time will tell. She's on heavy duty painkillers/antinauseants/antibiotics. I went to visit her yesterday and I can confidently say that I am sick and tired of fucking hospitals. If I never have to set foot in one again, it'll be too soon. Mind you, I work in one, but it doesn't seem like it.....for some odd reason.

My mom said that I was in the hospital for a week when I was a baby, but of course I don't remember that. Since then? Nothing.

Seems unfair.

I just want C to get better and come home. I enjoy her so much. She's such an amazing person.

For now, I am counting my lucky stars.

Have you spent time in the hospital? If so, why and for how long?

The Best Of........

I love to try new restaurants. I constantly seek out the best hamburger, best steak, best fish and chips and best Chinese food. It's like a game to me. There are a few sites that have top 10 lists, but I have quickly learned that they are shiiiite. People who claim to know the best spots, are people that haven't tried anything else, therefore they have nothing to compare their slop to.

Case in point? Dairy Freeze at Caledonia and St. Clair is stated to be one of the top 10 burgers of Toronto. Bitch please. It was like particle board, yet somehow chewy too. The onion rings were so disgustingly beer battered that I was scraping the grease off the top of my mouth with my napkin. True story. Grow. Dee. I'm pretty sure the people that like this place don't own a car and walk across the street to eat since it's most convenient for them.

So far I have found the best Chinese food, best souvlaki as well as the best fish and chips. I'm still working on the best burger.

Chinese Food (North Americanized)















House of Wong at Morningside and Kingston Road. Yes, it's out of the way, but well worth the drive. I was out driving with Andrea one day and we decided to have Chinese, but decided to just choose the next ma and pa restaurant that we stumbled across. House of Wong showed up, and voila - decision made. Little did we know that it would be the best Chinese food out there. Delicious. Make sure you eat in the dining room instead of taking it out. Food seems more delicious that way. Lunch isn't so great - save your experience for dinner time, when the take-out orders are in full force, making the food fresher due to quantity being prepared. Best Cantonese Chow Mein I've had. Lemon chicken is great, and the General Tao Chicken is orgasmic. Egg rolls are yummy too, and not too big. I have introduced this restaurant to many friends, and they have taken their friends too.

Fish and Chips

My Place. This restaurant is at Victoria Park and Sheppard, in the strip mall beside Johnny's Burgers. Which, incidentally is a favourite of mine, but not the best burger out there. I have tried many other fish and chip places - Reliable, High Street, Old Yorke, Penrose, Danny's, etc.....and this is by far my favourite. Nothing to write home about when you walk in. The menu is displayed under the plastic table slab. So bare bones, it's not even funny. This restaurant is owned and operated by Asians, which kinda made me giggle for some reason. Little did I know that I was going to love it.










There was a couple sitting behind me (on the same side of the booth [gay!]) and I heard him say that this was the best meal of his life. I thought he was either high or being dramatic, but honestly, I kind of agreed with him.

Instead of using beer batter, they almost use a light tempura batter on their fish. It's so amazing because you actually enjoy the taste of the fish versus the batter. So wonderfully tasty. The fries are delicious too. Not too thick, not too thin. Pickled beets and the coleslaw were equally good.

The cost was decent- at $8.75 for halibut and chips. Most places will run you from 9-12 bucks. Top notch! Well done my Asian friends!

Souvlaki

Esquire. This is right next door to My Place (above). I should admit to you that I don't have AS MUCH experience with this as I have only tried a few before I found this gem. I have tried the regular restaurants like Mr. Greek and The Friendly Greek and a few Greek places on the Danforth. Nothing compares to the quality of this food. When you read reviews about this place, people complain that their food takes too long - well hello..... it's made fresh. It's not made hours earlier and sitting in an oven, drying out until it shows up on your plate. The wait is worth it. The chicken is so tender that you aren't fighting with it. Most souvlaki is hard to cut off the stick - but this is perfect. The tzatziki is thick and properly spicy. I can't stand when you get watery, yogurty tzatziki.

Tip: avoid the booths in the middle. Only anorexics can fit in them comfortably. As well, if you are picking up your order, call it in 10-15 minutes before.

Remember, fresh is best. Don't complain about the wait, when what you get, is great!

In conclusion (ending my essay off properly), when you search the "best" foods in Toronto or any other place, read the list quickly, and then pay MORE attention to the comments at the bottom of the blog. Those people usually know what they are talking about, and they aren't swayed by the bells and whistles. They know about good food, not a flashy place with flashy prices.

I'd choose a greasy dive with excellent food and good prices versus a beautiful, expensive place with mediocre food, any day.

It's All Trivial To Me

I'm taking a break from it all. Twitter, Fecesbook, blogging, email, you name it.

Everything I read lately seems trivial and annoys me to no end. What some people consider the end of the world, makes me want to throw a javelin at them.

I realize that I am feeling this way for obvious reasons, so I will be the one to step back and enjoy some time away from it all.

If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you'll die a lot of times.
~Dean Smith

Human = Vulnerability

I envy people that wear their hearts on their sleeves. I mean, not the types that bawl at the drop of a hat, but rather those that are not afraid to show their feelings.

I recall when I worked at Dell Computers, I had a boss that was a really nice person. So nice in fact, that you never saw any other side of her. Everything was so wonderful, allllll the time. I worked in customer service, and when there was a customer that was insanely pissed off - she would speak to them since she was the manager. Each time she spoke to them, she killed them with kindness. She would speak to our team in meetings with a happy face. I never believed it though. I felt as though she was over-compensating for how she really felt. I mean, you can only be called an effing bitch so many times before you get angry and feel the need to vent.

Not her.

A year or so later, she got pregnant. All that shit went out the window. She turned into a stereotypical hormonal woman.

It was fantastic; she was human.

I had to step up and take all of the escalation-type calls. She couldn't do it. She was a mess. I gained a ton of respect for her after that.

I can usually remember the first time I have seen a friend cry. I recall the subject matter, where we were, etc. I am so envious of them for being able to express themselves without any apology.

I'm getting better with age, but I still have issues with showing my emotions. I think that is why it's so important to me to see that from others. Who knows.

This has just been something that's been on my mind lately so I thought I would put it down on paper - or online. Same thing :)

Laurelle Maloney Provender

October 19, 1969 - March 14, 2010

I miss my sister already. The thought of not being able to pick up the phone to call her or show up at her door makes me incredibly sad. I'm happy that so many people made it to her life celebration last Saturday. She would be excited to know that she made a difference in so many of your lives.

I thought I would paste in my speech just in case any of you weren't able to make it......


A Few Words About My Sister, Laurelle

Word.

Most of you younger folk out there know that Laurelle would start and end every phone call, voicemail, email, or chat with that phrase. It actually says this in her “about me” section on her facebook homepage.

For those of you that don’t know me, I am Laurelle’s sister, Meredith. Growing up with Laurelle was quite an experience. We had the typical sibling rivalry relationship as most sisters did. There were times when I questioned if she even knew I was alive, but then she would turn around and do something heartwarming such as rescuing me from a bully by grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up off the ground while threatening to kick his ass (true story). Then seconds later, she would pin me down and do the whole “sucking spit” thing. Consequently, I learned very quickly to grow a thick skin.

When I was a kid, I watched. I watched Laurelle draw. I watched her buy music albums and listen to them on her headphones. I watched her peruse the fashion magazines and fashion tv shows. I watched her apply her make up and watched her style her hair. I was in awe.

I knew that everything she did was cool. So much so, that I styled my hair like hers. I applied my make up like hers. I tried to draw and paint. I listened to the same music. I borrowed her clothes (without asking of course). I never questioned her judgment. I knew that whatever style she chose was just plain……cool. Of course, she accused me of being a copycat, and I never admitted to it until recently.

Laurelle helped me get my first job at McDonalds. We had a lot of fun working together. I lasted a year. She went on for 12 more. Whatever job she chose, it seemed that her staff and fellow employees loved her.

I have been reading comments and emails that old coworkers have been sending me, and it seems that they collectively appreciated the fact that she mastered the perfect combination of being a manager with a sense of humour while being a friend at the same time. She didn’t pull ego trips. They knew what was expected of them because she didn’t beat around the bush.

This quality of not beating around the bush is one that I appreciated the most about Laurelle. You always knew where you stood with her. There were no hidden meanings in anything. For the most part she was so incredibly easy going, but when she was pissed off or she didn’t like something, you knew it. She got right to the point and wanted it dealt with right there and then. There was no hiding.

As we got into our twenties, we became closer. Laurelle, unlike me, was a good communicator and called me often. We chatted about so many things, as sisters often do. We shopped, enjoyed our favourite past time (food), did a bit of partying and just hung out. Our relationship had transformed into a close friendship.

Once Laurelle got married to Greg and had her kids, Avery and Tristan, I noticed an amazing change in her. She transformed into an even more wonderful woman that was at ease and was finally doing what she was meant to do. She was a life partner and a mom.

She loved her kids more than anything. She was so at ease with it all. Nothing ruffled her feathers. Being a mom came so naturally.

Thanks to our parents, tradition meant a lot to Laurelle. She loved Christmas and taught the kids the importance of dressing the Christmas tree, decorating the house, and helping with the Christmas baking. Easter was filled with gifts and Easter egg hunts, birthdays with balloons and cakes and excitement. She was a real planner. So much so that she planned Easter next month, right down to the colour of the cupcakes. We’ll be celebrating together in the exact way that she planned it.

My father never had the pleasure to experience this part of her life, but I’m confident that he was looking down on her each and every day and was amazingly proud of her accomplishments and of her family. Now he is the lucky one. He’s able to listen to all of her stories and make her laugh, which in turn comforts us.

When Laurelle got sick, she handled it all with phenomenal strength and poise. She continued to plan events, take pictures and enjoy life. This isn’t to say that there weren’t tough times; she just chose to fight through them and come out the other side with a happy face.

For Christmas this year, Laurelle bought matching necklaces for her and I that say “Live, Love, Laugh”. It’s something you hear all the time, but not something that many people actually put into motion. Laurelle lived by this. She truly lived, she truly loved and man, she truly laughed.

Two weeks before she passed, there was an emotional moment between Laurelle and her best friend Sandra at the hospice. She asked Sandra why she was crying. Sandra said that she was so sad that this was happening – Laurelle told her to wipe her tears – that no one knows why certain people are chosen to have illnesses like this. She told Sandra that it was better for her to have it than for some innocent child to die from it.

But that’s who Laurelle was. She was honorable.

No one knows why the good ones always seem to be touched by this disease. I can’t make sense of it, although I really really really really wish I could.

I know Laurelle was putting support systems into place for Greg, her kids, my mom and I before she passed. She was always a caregiver by nature. I want to thank all of you that have helped us all over the last few years…for listening, distracting, offering help, etc. Laurelle would be happy to know that everyone is taken care of.

The staff at McNally House Hospice was so incredibly caring and compassionate; she was truly in great hands during her last days. I sincerely believe that they are angels in disguise.

Laurelle, you were the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend and boss that anyone could ask for. Your sense of humour was so tremendous – you carried it with you wherever you went. You were my best audience, as you laughed at everything that came out of my mouth.

I’ll miss you each and every second of every day.

Until we’re reunited again…

WORD.

Guilty Confession

So we all have our guilty pleasures. Most of you watch The Bachelor, and I won't judge you for that, as I watch the Young and the Restless.

However, we all have our guilty confessions too. Some things that we don't like to admit, because we would be stoned by our friends if we did.

Mine is this:

I hate The Beatles. It's almost as bad as Nickelback for me. Mind you, people aren't embarrassed to admit that they hate Nickelback because let's face it. They suck. But The Beatles....it's a different thing altogether.

I can appreciate the impact that The Beatles had on rock and roll, pop culture and music as a whole. They were revolutionary. I get it. I appreciate it. I just can't listen to them.

Radio stations have "Beatle Breaks" every day - they choose a different song, or two, or three. In a row. I have my hand on the button to change the channel faster than I can have my hand on a donut.

Mind you, their later stuff was better than the earlier, but frig. I just can't do it.

What is your guilty confession?

Red Shoes

They didn't have any in stock. In fact, they didn't remember the last time they were in stock.

Fuck.

So Kari and I went home and ordered 4 pairs of various shoes (not red suede) from my new favourite website:

www.sierratradingpost.com

Check it out - you'll love it. Tell them Meredith sent you :)

New Shoooooooz

If you recall, over three years ago, I posted this entry on shoes.

I have been looking for red suede Gazelles or red suede Pumas for exactly that long. Not kidding. I have all of my friends on board for this project when they are out shopping. I was online looking for a new replacement pair of boots (see below paragraph) and decided to check out the Adidas section on the website. My eyes almost shot out of their sockets. They are selling RED GAZELLES at "Get Outside" in Toronto. Not available online, only in store. Expensive, yes.....but I am going to the store tomorrow to buy them. If they don't have them in stock, I will seriously have a meltdown in the store - on my stomach, kicking and screaming like a 4 year old.

If you notice within that same blog entry, my most beloved pair of black boots are completely worn out. They have been the best pair of boots I have EVER owned. I just have to remember that I can't wear them when it's slippery as the treads are gone, and have even started to wear slight holes in the sole. I have never done that before. Just goes to show you how much I have worn them.......

I just wish that I could replace my boots with the same brand, style and colour. Alas, they have been discontinued. Sad.

My new love in the meantime are these:














Blundstones can be very expensive so I am on the lookout for deals. Softmoc every so often has an "family and friends" sale which is 30% off the whole store....and then I get an additional 10% off for being a Sunnybrook employee.

I can handle that....but can't handle waiting for the frickin' sale to come back.

Patience has never been a trait of mine - when it comes to shoes and jackets, at least.

In the last year or so, I have made friends with a girl I pseudo-grew up with named Kari. Her parents and my aunt/uncle are friends, so we were always at the same weddings, showers, funerals, etc. Since becoming good friends with her, I have realized that we share the same love of shoes and sneakers. Mind you, I have many friends that love shoes, but they are the girly type - strappy and heely and shit. Not Kari. We like boots and sneakers.

Tomorrow we have a date to go shoe shopping. I haven't looked forward to anything recently, but in this case, I can't wait! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Laurelle Update

So, there are good days and there are bad days.

More bad days than good lately.

Cancer is such a roller coaster, both emotionally and physically. One day she is up eating Chinese food with me, joking around, and the next day she can't get out of bed. It's frustrating to watch. I realize that this is what cancer does; it's deceptive. Just when you think things are looking up, you get slammed.

Every day, treatment seems to change. Oral turns to injection. Pain meds are increased. Mass explodes in size. Discomfort increases. There is no position that she can maintain that relieves the pain. In the next week or two, a grief counselor will be coming to the house to speak to her kids.

I could go into specifics, but the reality is, no one needs to hear them. Cancer is ugly, plain and simple. I really hope that you never have to watch someone you love go through this. If you have, you can understand just how dreadful it is.

Yet, Laurelle manages to deal with it all with grace somehow. She is truly my hero.

She and the oncologist made the decision to cease treatment. She will be staying at home until this is no longer an option. She will then try to get a spot at McNally House in Grimsby, which is a palliative care centre.

Thanks for all of the emails and nice gestures over the last while. Although I may not respond to them on time, or at all, I really do appreciate it.

M
xo

Scent is the Strongest Sense Tied to Memory

The above statement never ceases to amaze me.

How one smell can transport you somewhere that you were 5,10, 15, 20 years ago in a split second, is amazing to me. I mean, you don't even remember that smell.....until you are surprised with it again.

You don't even have to think "where have I smelled this before?" Whammo, it transports you there immediately. Bam.

Sometimes I get on the elevator at home and it smells exactly like the lobby of Royal Solaris in Cancun...when I went there in 1991.

There are a thousand other instances, but the other day I experienced a memory that I had completely forgotten about for 30 years.

I had to go through the lobby to pick up/sign for a package at the concierge desk. I arrived at the desk via a different route. As I was walking towards the elevator, I passed the small party room which had a few people getting ready for a holiday gathering. There was a man outside speaking to another gentleman. As I walked past him....I went on a journey.

I was six or seven years old.
Living on Shaughnessy Blvd.
It was a Saturday night
Hanging with Laurelle, likely practicing our dance steps for the babysitter, listening to "Trash" on the Sesame Street album
My mom and dad were getting ready to go out
My dad had put on cologne. I don't know which cologne. Some sort of after shave.

This man smelled exactly like my dad used to smell on Saturday nights when he was ready to go out with my mom.

Unbelievable. I couldn't find this scent if I tried, because it would have to be perfectly matched with the oils of this man's skin, as it was.

Either way, I walked past these two men and took in the scent as much as I could.

I smiled to myself, got a little teary-eyed and made my way back upstairs.

Life's Challenges

My life is full of waking up when I want (unless I am going to work), and going to bed when I want. Eating if I feel like it. Napping if I want to. Going to a movie on a whim. Taking a day trip, and spontaneously staying over if that's what I want to do.

Nothing or no one governs my behaviour, except me. I truly have a selfish life. I'm pushing 40 and I am living the same life I did when I was 23.

There should be some sort of segue into my next point, but I am too lazy and lethargic to create one.

I don't know how my sister does it. She was engaged, bought a house, was married and had her first child all within a year and a half. She had brutal complications with her delivery (hemorrhaging) and was rushed to a larger hospital and was separated from her daughter for just under a week. She recovered from surgery and struggled with anemia. A year later, she got the green light to try again. They did, and they were blessed with a son within 10 months. More complications, but not as bad as those she had with Avery. Fast forward to when the kids are a year and a half and three and a half years old. She's diagnosed with cancer. She had MAJOR surgery to cut out the tumour and was in the hospital for a month. She continued to recover at home and then had to start a regimen of chemo. So far so good, right? Wrong. A year later, she's diagnosed with more cancer - this time with a poor prognosis. More chemo, radiation, CT scans, MRIs........appointment after appointment. Low blood counts. Fatigue. Possible clinical trials. Changing oncologists. Alternative treatments. Daily cocktails of morphine, and more drugs to offset the side effects of each other.

All the while, waking up each day, putting on a happy face for the kids, making sure they are fed, changed, dressed, bathed, sent to school, in community sports, etc. Cakes are baked for birthdays, thank-you cards are written to friends and family, gifts are wrapped, games are played. Smiles are created for friends, family and those in the community. She regularly goes on Facebook and makes smart-ass comments on everyone's profiles. You'd never know that she was feeling like garbage as she typed them.

Life goes on. She finds no time to feel sorry for herself.

Our father was the same way. Throughout his life he battled tuberculosis, polio, almost losing his fingers from an accident, insulin- dependent diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, high blood pressure.... you name it. He didn't work outside the home from the time I turned 15. He was in and out of hospitals my whole life. Never once did you hear him bitch or moan about how he was feeling. Not once.

Laurelle is a chip off the old block. She had bunions on her feet when she was 9 years old for fuck's sake. Surgery and casts on both legs up to her quads. Who else do you know that had bunions under the age of 50? She had glasses, acne, and braces as a kid/teen. Her life has NOT been easy.

Yesterday she had an MRI appointment. Today she went to the hospital to have fluid extracted from her abdomen. I'm not just talking about a little fluid. Enough fluid to make someone look like they are 7 months pregnant.

I really don't know how she does it. I'm amazed by her every single day. Completely and utterly amazed.

Terrific Tim

As most of you know, I work two jobs.

My second job consists of arriving early into schools, speaking with the custodians to assist me with access to gyms to set up sports - volleyball nets, sticks, balls, etc.

This past season I have been coordinating women's volleyball near Dufferin and St.Clair. I have always enjoyed going to this school because the custodian is so lovely. I asked him what his name was the first day I met him two years ago, and I have always remembered it. His face lights up when I use his name every week.

This man's name is Tim. He has worked in that elementary school for 18 years. He's 65, and won't retire for a while. I have always enjoyed talking with him because he's fun to listen to. He's a tall, black man and has grown up in a primarily Italian neighbourhood. He speaks with an Italian accent and has all of the Italian mannerisms, including biting his hand when he's angry and flicking the bottom of his chin when he says "va fungool!"

We got to talking this week about a few things - work ethic, pride and being happy in life.

He was so inspirational to listen to. This man has been working his butt off for almost 20 years and says that it took him a while to wrap his head around his job. In the beginning he couldn't deal with how disgusting some of the kids were - never wrapping up their personal hygiene items properly, sticking them on the walls instead of the garbage, etc. He went home that night and complained to his wife that his job sucked, and he wasn't going to stay. She convinced him to stick with it for a while.

Now he says he is glad that he listened to her. He's happy to be inside during the heat of the summer. He's happy to be inside during the cold of the winter. He has food and wine on his table. He has friends to play pinochle with. His daughter has been able to go to university. Last but not least, he paid off his mortgage last month. Life is good. He even went as far to say the scent of the hygiene items is now like "perfume" to him.

Sometimes when things start to get a little crazy in your life and you live in your own head for a while, you need the perspective of people like Tim.

Tim is the shit.

It couldn't have come at a better time.

Calgary Travels

I haven't posted in a while...mostly because when I start to actually feel good about something, life slams me down as though to say "what the hell do you think you are doing? There will be no happiness!"

I attended my Uncle Doug's funeral last weekend. While I was at the funeral, I was informed that a friend/acquaintance in Calgary had passed away. Laurel was just 39 years old; she celebrated her last birthday less than two weeks ago in the hospital. I was introduced to her through my friend Nancy. We ran in the same social circle at times - I kicked her ass in poker, she attended my BBQs and other get-togethers. We celebrated the same birthdays of people we had in common.

One day she was healthy....and 24 days later she died of an aggressive cancerous brain tumour. Hard to believe. She had a good life. House, boyfriend, good job at Westjet. Loved to travel. Great sense of humour. She was gorgeous. She was a quiet individual but had a big presence.

After suffering from headaches and nausea for over 2 weeks, she went to emerg. The rest was history. Surgery, recovery - a few bouts of radiation. They gave her 3-12 months. She lived for 2 more weeks.

The moral of the story is that you need to do what you've been putting off, because it could change at any moment. Take that trip you've only been wishing for. Buy that TV you've been drooling over each time you're at the mall. Splurge for that broadway play you think you can't afford. It's just money and you can always save up to pay it off later.

For some people, there is no later.

Completely enjoy your life before it's too late.

I am off to Calgary tomorrow. The visit will be bittersweet. I will be attending Laurel's funeral, but spending valuable time with the friends that I left behind when I moved back to Toronto.

One thing is for sure. I will have a drink when I get there and raise a glass for Laurel.

It's the Little Things That Count

At Sunnybrook Hospital, they have a small branch of the Toronto Public Library in the Veteran's wing. Not many people know about this library because it's primarily funded through the hospital, and therefore isn't a true public branch.

I don't know if any of you have utilized the library for anything other than books, but the selection is usually very poor at each branch. You have to place the item you want on hold and have it shipped to the location you request. So, if you have patience, you can see some really good movies, listen to some good CDs and read some great books. However, if it's a popular selection, you can likely wait for a couple of months for your selection to become available. There could be up to 600 people ahead of you waiting for that copy.

Anyhow, the individual that runs this branch at Sunnybrook is Stephen. Stephen goes above and beyond here. He regularly attends garage sales, Blockbuster and Rogers to source some good buys. He then adds the movies to the library collection for the Veterans and the Sunnybrook staff. If it's the only title in the whole city, he isn't able to make it "public" so it remains a local copy. It can't be put on hold and sent to other branches. There are some amazing titles to choose from.

As you all probably know, I like the more obscure titles and I am a fan of Canadian films. He has an enormous collection. Very new titles (He's Just Not That Into You) and some really old ones (Gone With the Wind). This branch easily holds about 400 DVDs and 300 VHS movies. Regular branches hold about 30 movies, on average. This library is approximately 500-600 sq feet.

Stephen doesn't have to do this. He technically just needs to come into work and leave after his 8 hours. He, however, made the conscious decision to go above and beyond so that others can enjoy these selections as well.

Today I asked if he accepts donations and he does. This is great news as I want to get rid of about fifteen titles that I no longer want. It's so easy to do something small like this to make others happy, and Stephen has succeeded in making me as well as about a thousand others, smile.

What have you done to go above and beyond lately?